فيزا 🔋
Hello from the backstage of the Trocadero Theatre, beloved book of my secrets! The curtain has just dropped, the show has just ended... and surprisingly much, I still haven't had to use the migraine drug that I stuffed in my panties before I came here to bear witness to the latest Alice in Chains show! On the contrary, I enjoyed the show quite a bit, minus the part in which Mark Frangipan's band took the stage and at some point he even came over to me, pinched my hip and called me 'Jennifer' mid singing, in front of everyone to see... but it's all good in my book! All is well when everything ends well, even if there have been some VERY spooky moments all along ! I had fun while my boyfriend (whom ain't my boyfriend, but please don't break it down to me or I may as well cry) and his friends took the stage... and I'm still having fun now, keeping myself busy talking with my girly pals and a bunch of total strangers whom had the privilege of watching the show by the side of the stage with us. That, while I'm wondering whether I should strut my way to where Sean is and disrupt his beer-fuelled, rather passionate talk with Mark Frangipan's drummer buddy whose name I never seem to remember... mostly because I can't tell his first name from his last name, like at all. It's an all drummers kinda thing, I sense, Sean and Barrett or Sean and Martin I don't fucking know ... and I just can't see how could or how would I fit in their talk. I just can't see what I'd do with myself if I were there, sandwiched by them talking about stuff I can't even understand, despite the fact that I'm a beginner drummer and a genuine drum enthusiast myself. Plus, I can't tell if Sean would like to have me there with him, or not quite. One moment before I catch him staring at me, smiling a toothy fucking smile, flirting up a storm with me and pointing at his lap, motioning me to sit on it I reckon... and the moment after he tilts his head back and nonchalantly talks to his fellow drummer buddy, addressing silly faces my way everytime I say something to my own buddies... as a way to make 'fun' of me for my antic of making friends wherever I go, I suppose. Standard us. And standard me, more than anything else ... because in this whole situation, it looks like I'm the only one who's trying to keep it low profile, leave him alone, and free to talk to one of his buddies without sticking my finger in there. For once in our lives, because it doesn't happen very often that we keep our distance from eachother, intentionally but not very intentionally too, whenever we're in the same environment. This is just a vibe, but looking at him now, I can't help but think that if he could ditch his buddy and come over here to pick me up, he would. And he wouldn't either mind it, if I ditched my own buddies out of my own initiative just for the sake of being with him. Make it make sense. And please consider that, in this whole equation, we are our own people, with our own friends, and we're perfectly capable of functioning without the other one.
However, my buddies have noticed our quirky exchange of looks, and needless to say, Chrissie is trying to keep me there with the gang by rolling her eyes back and pulling my one arm everytime she catches Sean staring at me... whereas Bessie and Mimi are pulling me by the other arm, and pushing me closer to my beau because they know that I'd not so secretly want to be with him. I literally don't know what to do, I don't know whether I should keep standing here, talking to my friends until we run out of topics, and then just take my own, separate way to my guy... or if I should ditch them while I can, and go sit on the lap of the guy I love the most. Conflicted to say the least, no pun intended, I decide to listen to the majority, much to Chrissie's horror I reckon... and I walk baby steps towards Sean. Not because I can't survive without him by my hip every other second, not because I want to screw up his chat with his friend because I'm selfish and/or needy... but mostly because Mimi is getting so pushy, pulling me away from the gang so fiercely, that I feel like she may as well ground me or rip me apart if she keeps that going for one more minute. And if I have my best friend from university well figured out... her urgency isn't dictated by the fact that she wants to push me anywhere closer to Sean. She likes him, she forwardly told me that when I introduced them on the tour bus before we all started to play poker, but at the end of the day, she'd never try to have a say in my actions towards him. Unlike Bessie, my full fledged best friend and voice of my conscience, who's smiling at Sean and I and poking my ass to convince me to go join him where he is before either one of the two of us gets annoyed by the (cryptic?) chasing. Mimi's urgency is simply dictated by the fact that she might have a very obvious interest in Sean's drummer buddy, the one he's talking to when he ain't looking at me... and being a little bit of an opportunist like me, she wants me to introduce them because she's too shy to introduce herself out of the blue. Regardless of the fact that it's quite obvious that he too is looking at her, and I can really tell it. Surreal shit, I know, but the surreality of it doesn't make it any less cute than it is, aka a lot.
