Across the Ocean - Kyra Cooney-Cross

Chapter Eleven - Distance from Grief

Although I had just reached a massive step in our relationship, with Kyra finally letting her walls down and experiencing my first WSL game, the enjoyment ended as soon as our bodies landed in bed. 

Kyra was off at 6 am to the Heathrow to go on her 10-day Matildas international camp in Canada, the longest we would be apart in our whole relationship.

I knew what I was getting myself into whilst dating a professional a footballer, but this was my first time. First times always the hardest, right?

The day before the West Ham game, I watched her pack, but It didn't hit me until I brushed my teeth and saw her outfit laid out for the morning behind me.

A lump formed in my throat, and I felt a mix of nerves and sadness.

"Are you sure you have everything?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

Kyra looked up from her suitcase and smiled. "Yes, I triple-checked. And I left my jacket for you in case it gets cold again."

I rolled my eyes and tried to smile, but it felt forced. "Thanks"

She walked over and wrapped her arms around me. "I'll miss you, it's just 10 days."

I nodded, burying my face in her shoulder. "I know" I faintly smiled again place my toothbrush back in my toiletry bag on the bench. 

Kyra kissed my shoulder. "when I'm back, we'll go into London alright?"

"Deal" I whispered, trying to hold back tears.

That night, sleep came in fits and starts. I clung to Kyra, memorizing the feel of her beside me. 

When the alarm went off at 5:15 am, it felt like a punch to the gut. I got up and made coffee while Kyra showered and dressed.

As we stood at the door, Kyra turned to me, her eyes soft. "I'll call you as soon as I land, okay?"

"Okay," I replied, my voice barely a whisper.

She leaned in and kissed me deeply, her lips lingering on mine. "You'll be okay"

"I'll be okay, and you be safe" I giggled tears welling in my eyes. 

And with that, she was gone. I stood at the door long after she left, the silence of her empty flat pressing in on me. Just like that I was alone. Again. 

The next few days were a blur. I went through the motions at work, trying to keep myself busy. I texted Kyra whenever I could, but it wasn't the same as having her there.

One evening, I found myself scrolling through our old messages and photos, missing her more than I thought I would. Just as I was about to call it a night, my phone buzzed. It was Kyra.

"Hey," she said, her voice tired but cheerful. "What are you doing?"

I smiled, feeling a warmth spread through me. "Better. How's Camp?"

"It's cold, but good and it's nice with Charli and Mini around me again" she smiled and glanced away from the phone. "Oh wait, there's someone at the door" 

She stood up, walking to the door and opening it. An unfamiliar voice filled my phone speaker "Why didn't you answer your phone?" 

She instantly replied to the person now walking into her room "I'm on the phone" 

Imediately a face filled the screen, and I noticed who it was immediately "Oh hey Elmo" 

I smiled as Katrina Gorry's happy face filled the screen. I'd never met in person but she was like Kyra's football Mum and they spoke constantly.