SMG4: The Power Crystal (Episode)

Chapter 5 - Robbery of the Two Idiots

  SMG3 peeped open one of his eyes. He looked around.
Everybody was finally asleep. Even SMG4 was peacefully resting among the rest.
  Grinning, the purple meme guardian lifted himself out of his sleeping bag and onto his feet.
He glanced around again. Everybody was still asleep.
  His grin expanding, SMG3 took his chance and tip-toed around the pile of sleeping bodies, very cautious around SMG4's especially. He didn't know for sure if his meme guardian partner was actually asleep, or just going through another depressive episode. That guy seriously whines too much. Imagine not having a power and then sulking about it like some sort of toddler. He's already special! He doesn't need any more special attention than he already gets! He paused. For once, I finally get that special attention, that feeling of being somebody that I can actually be proud of, and what does SMG4 do? Whine!
  Lifting his foot above the meme guardian's head, he let out a sigh of relief when SMG4 didn't even stir.
  When he successfully snook around all of the bodies, SMG3 rushed towards the cabinet. "Come to daddy!"
  When he stopped himself in his tracks, SMG3 pulled out a hair pin and fiddled with the lock.
  
   "Yo."
   "AHH!"

  Stepping back, SMG3 realized that he was not the only one awake.
In front of him, was a very familiar body shape that immediately made SMG3 untense his body. "Bob!? Oh thank god it's just you. I thought you were somebody else."
  Bob narrowed his eyes. "Rude."
  Letting out a relieved sigh, SMG3 turned back to face him. "What are you doing awake!"
   "I could ask you the same question. But you and I both know why we're both awake. And standing very conveniently near the shiny stone."
  SMG3 processed it for a moment, but then he scowled. "Well don't even think about it, Bob! It's mine!"
   "There's no need to be so greedy, Three." Bob replied in a shockingly calm tone.
  SMG3's face twisted into one of distrust. "Big talk for somebody who's power is to literally summon money out of thin air!" He spat.
   "Well I need to get those women!" Bob snapped, back to his usual self again. "And this shiny rock is the only way I'll get them!"
   "Well I need to be powerful!" SMG3 argued. "So I can gain the love and acceptance of my fellow peers that SMG4 HAS TOO MUCH OF!"
  When SMG3 realized that he had spoken too deeply, he added. "Plus it'll give me the power of a god!"
   "More like turn you into an oversized purple jelly bean!"
   "SAY THAT AGAIN, AND I'LL TURN YOU INTO A SQUASHED JELLYBEAN!"
Suddenly, the two quarrelers stopped dead when they heard SMG4's groan behind them. They both whirled their gazes towards him, horrified. The meme guardian was stirring in his sleeping bag, murmuring something under his breath, but then everything went silent again when he laid still.
  Both men let out a silent sigh of relief. "That was too close..."
   "Quick, just get the rock and lets get out of here!"
  SMG3 pouted. "But we didn't decide who gets to keep it!"
   "We'll share it," Bob replied quickly. "We just can't let the others know."
  That was the smartest thing that SMG3 had ever heard Bob say. For a moment, he couldn't believe he had actually said it. "How are we supposed to share it?"
   "Well when I hold it, money appears. And that money doesn't disappear like yours and and the other's powers. So I'll hold it for a bit, and then you can have it all you want."
  SMG3 grinned evilly by this information, but Bob cut him off again. "But when I need the money again, you must promise to give it back to me! Deal?"
  SMG3 hesitated for a moment. He didn't like the idea of sharing such a power, but this was Bob. It wasn't like he was planning to dominate the world or anything. He just wanted to be a man whore.
   "Okay deal," SMG3 agreed. "But we both must run away so the others wont catch onto us."
   "Wouldn't that make us more suspicious?"
   "What? Did the crystal give you the power to be a smart ass too?"
  Bob shrugged. "Your funeral, not mine."
  With an eyeroll and groan, SMG3 went back to fiddling with the lock.
  But to his utter horror, the hair clip snapped.
   "Shit!" He exclaimed silently, trying not to draw anymore attention. He'd already learned his lesson from last time. "The stupid clip broke!"
   "Why do you even have that?" Bob narrowed his eyes.
   "I put them in my hair sometimes, okay! But that's not the point! Our only chance of opening this thing is busted!"
   "Where's the key?"
   "God knows with him!" SMG3 snapped. "SMG4 hoards things inside of a pig pen! That key could literally be anywhere!"
   "Is that it?" Bob was pointing towards SMG4's pocket.
   "No that's not it! Their is no way that's— oh wait yeah, that's it."
  A small yellow object was gangling out of SMG4's overall pocket.
   "For once in his life, he actually hides something in a decent place."
   "Well how are we supposed to open the cabinet now? Bob wants his women, and he's running out of patience!"
   "We sneak by and pick it out of his pocket. Sounds easy enough!"
   "And what if he wakes up?"
   "Then I murder him! It's a win/win!"
  Bob narrowed his eyes. "I'd hate to say this... but you are the worst partner in crime I have ever worked with."
   "Oh, you think you're any better?" Scowling, he finished. "It's me or no bitches."
  Bob's expression remained the same, but he said nothing else.
   "Now come on! We need to get that stupid key!"
  Tip-toeing back towards SMG4, SMG3 kneeled down beside him when he got close enough. Turning to Bob, he signaled him to come forward. When he did, SMG3 spoke up. "Okay, listen carefully Bob. It will be your duty to watch over him and the others. Make sure that he and the others don't wake up for any reason. If they do, you tell me right away. Got it?"
  Bob didn't like being bossed around, but the thought of the money and women he would have soon made him obey.
  As SMG3 kneeled down to SMG4's lower abdomen, he slowly reached out to grab the key.

  SMG4 stirred.

  Both of them flinched and got ready to run on the spot.

  But once again, SMG4 froze for a moment, and then lied still again.
  Letting out a sigh of relief, the two continued their heist.
  When SMG3 had successfully managed to pull the key from out of his pocket, he exchanged a glance to Bob and nodded.
  They both tip-toed back over towards the cabinet and exchanged a final evil glance before inserting the key into the lock.
  When the lock fell to the floor, SMG3 and Bob both opened the cabinet door and stared at their hard effort prize.
   "Yes... power... it's finally mine..." Slowly extending his hand towards the crystal, SMG3 was about to grab it and leave. But Bob suddenly stopped him with the slap of his sword hand.
   "Bro, are you nuts! If you touch that, you'll become a deranged Brobdingnagian!"
  SMG3 whined. "So? That's what I want!"
   "Bro... you'll destroy the entire castle and get us caught!"
  SMG3 stared stupidly. "Ohh... yeah, guess you're right."
   "I'll take it instead. And when I'm done with it, I'll give it back to you. Deal?"
   "Ugh fine. But make sure to actually give it back to me!" SMG3 sneered. "Otherwise, things won't be so pretty for you."
  Nodding with a smile, Bob took the crystal from it's display and tip-toed towards the front doors, SMG3 right behind him throughout the entire thing.
  When they successfully made it outside, the two let out a relieved sigh and cheered happily.
   "We did it!" Bob chipped.
   "Now we can't get ahead of ourselves, Bob. We need to escape before the others wake up."
Bob nodded, and the two turned to walk out into the darkness of the trees.

   "They won't know what hit them," SMG3 sneered evilly to himself. "I can finally prove to SMG4, and all of those other worthless villains that I am not just SMG4's shadow and a failure of a villain."

   "I will be the most powerful being of all time!"