Personal affairs

Chapter 8.

Alexandra's POV

I'm still a little pissed off with Ronnie, so I decided to come straight to my room and lock the door just so he wouldn't bother me butttttt that failed.

" Alexa come on open up." I can hear his deep voice through the door and his light knocking

He's been at it for 15 minutes now you'd think the man would give up. Lord knows what he wants, he could want to be a smartass or he could want to apologize but he already admitted that he does it so I'll tell him things about myself, but yet there's the undying question of who Ronnie really is.

I can tell he nice, he's protective, and I'm sure to the right woman she would mean more than anything to him, but I'm not that woman and will never be that woman. I have too many sharp edges, a blade for a tongue and my heart is guarded.

" Alexa darling, come on." He says once more but I ignore his pleads and throw the blankets over my head letting the tears cascade down my face

I honestly can't remember if I've had a proper cry since everything happened, and this right now feels better than anything.

" go away Ronnie!!" I yell back at him

" I'm not going anywhere I'll sit out here till you open this door. You'll have to come out in the morning anyways." He says and I roll my eyes finally getting out of bed

I rip the door wide open and he stands there leaning against the frame but straightens up when the door opens.

" what Ronnie?! What could you possibly want now?! To belittle me again?! To poke fun at the shit that has caused me so much trauma?! What!!" I scream at him the tears falling faster than I could wipe them away so many emotions pouring out of me in one go from the alcohol making me vulnerable to him.

" look I'm sorry okay... I mean it... I don't mean to hurt your feelings or belittle you it's just I want to get to know you and with you so guarded I don't know how to even get it out of you." He says sighing rubbing his face then placing his hands in his pockets

" well you know what Ronnie this isn't just a one way street Yanno. I want to get to know you as well, but if I have to tell you my life story before I hear about yours then it won't work. Maybe you try an and fucking opening up. Telling me something relateable. For now leave my fucking door way and let me be sad in peace." I tell him his face actually looks defeated and not his normal smirk or smile as I shut the door back locking it again

I slide off my comfy red sleep shorts and throw on a big t shirt and climb into bed setting my alarm and silently crying under the covers. It won't solve all my problems but for now it's the best I got.

———
Ronnie's POV

I fucked up. Fuck. Why do I do this to myself? Why is it always some smart remark or pushing buttons? I never meant to hurt her feelings or make her cry, I just don't really know how to talk to people in that reference... I guess that's why everyone calls me an asshole, but I'd rather be an asshole then let people walk all over me.

I pull a chair over near her door and lean back in it closing my eyes. I can hear her small sniffles coming from the room and I feel weird admitting it but it makes my heart feel some kinda way. Now don't get me wrong I have my own bullshit and I'm not completely an asshole, I guess you could say I'm just guarded like she is but in a different way.

I haven't felt anything in a long time, very long time for that matter, and the day rayne brought her to my house I don't know she just stood out to me. Her tattoos, her outfit, her gorgeous eyes and long dark hair. Just something told me " Ronnie get to know her, see where it goes" but right in this moment I know I fucked up.

Even the night she slapped me I knew I had stepped over a line, but im gonna try to be softer and not so asshole. Key word here -try-

When you've been a certain way for so long you just adapt it, it becomes your personality and who you are. Little does she know I've been hurt too, but in ways she could only ever imagine if she knew what true love felt like, well what I thought true love was.

Soon enough lost in my own thoughts the sniffling stops, and I'm sure she cried herself to sleep, which also twinges my heart a little. I rub my face and pull out my phone checking the time. 2:30am, I need sleep but it's hard to sleep imagining what could have been going through Alexandra's mind from tonight's events. I'll make it up to her tomorrow I have to. I have to show her I can be gentle and not a 24/7 smartass asshole. I have to do this for myself and her, something is telling me that's what I have to do.

Text message;
Hey rayne you know your best friend better than I do.

-rayne-
Ronnie it's nearly 3am take your ass to bed

-me-
I can't sleep. I was an asshole and now it's eating at me. I have to make it up to her.

-rayne-
Jesus Christ Ronnie what did you do?

-me-
Said some crossed the line type shit, listen is there anything you can think of that she may need? Or hell even wanna do?

-rayne-
Smh. Uhm new shoes? Those heels hurt her feet. She is a sneaker head. And things she wants to do? That's honestly a good question I know the things she wanted to do years ago but when she got with Milo everything changed so you'll have to figure that out yourself. Just try not to be an asshole anymore, she's dealt with that enough.

-me-
Thanks. See you guys in the morning.

I send the last message and click my phone off and close my eyes for a moment. Little do you guys know my interest in Alexandra has gone for longer than just a few days. I've known about her for some time now because of rayne but rayne only ever showed me a few pics and told me the simple things about Alexandra like what she did that day, stuff like that. I know I should have said that before maybe you'd understand but everything is just as confusing to me. Oh well.