MIDNIGHT RAIN, ʲ.ᵏ

⁂chapter fourteen⁂

waking up next to johnny was a feeling that was incomparable. there was nothing quite like it, from the way his arms wrapped around her, to the way he looked so peaceful. it was something irreplaceable. as he slowly awoke, charlotte found herself wishing it could be like this forever.
"you're my best friend."
the words swam around her brain, the only thing she could think of. what did that mean? how could he kiss her, lay with her, take care of her, if she was just his best friend? he had no right to get jealous if what he felt for her was strictly platonic. but really, it was hard to care when his arms just looked so good. as he slowly sat up, the warm arm that had been wrapped around her waist disappeared, replaced by his soft comforter as he tucked her in tightly and quietly left the room. dread filled her. he was leaving? she stayed in his bed, heart racing for a moment before she decided to figure out what was going on. she tiptoed down the stairs, the shirt she had borrowed from him last night falling just below her knees. there, standing in the kitchen shirtless, was johnny. making breakfast. there were two plates set out on the table, and her heart beat faster at the realization that instead of abandoning her, he was taking care of her yet again. she walked slowly to the kitchen and took a seat at the table, watching silently as he cooked.
"morning johnny," she said tiredly, twisting her hair into a braid.
he smiled and turned to her, "morning char, sleep good?"
she nodded lazily, excited to eat whatever delicious food he was cooking. moments later, he set down a steaming plate of waffles in front of her.
"thanks johnny," she yawns, digging in as he sits down across from her.
"so," he says, looking down at her, "i have training today with the academy, but after that, do you wanna go out for dinner? we can go to that pasta place you like."
a wide smile pulled at charlottes lip, "of course!" she said excitedly, shoving the rest of her waffle in her mouth. johnny laughed and nodded.
"alright, i'll pick you up at four."
they finished breakfast and johnny gave her a lift home. she had two hours to get ready. after thirty minutes of aggressively digging through her closet, she settled on a white skirt and a pink tee shirt. she did her makeup carefully, wanting everything to be perfect, and finally, it was four. she waited expectantly outside her front door. she checked the delicate gold wrist watch she wore, and when it was 10 minutes after four, she sat at the bench in the entranceway. more time went by, and she sent him a text.
"hey, are you almost here?" she typed before clicking send. she checked over and over for a notification, but she never got one. as it got darker out and hours passed, charlotte realized with a wave of disappointment and embarrassment that johnny wasn't coming. her whole family had witnessed her running around to get ready, to look perfect and he had stood her up. she walked up the stairs as quiet as possible, not wanting to alert anyway that she was still home. fresh tears flooded her eyes, making it difficult to see ahead of her, but she knew the way to her room by heart. she flung herself onto her bed and kicked off her strappy brown sandals. her face was pressed into one of her favorite stuffed animals, and she knew her mascara was smearing, but she didn't care. a firm knock pulled her from her thoughts, and hope filled her. had johnny turned up after all?
she rushed to wipe her eyes and open the door, but she was met with the sight of her brother hughie, not johnny.
"hey," he said, "wanna come out with me and the lads? lizzie and katie will be there," he added.
charlotte shrugged, "i think i'll stay in tonight."
he raised an eyebrow, "are you sure? kav's gonna be there."
charlotte felt herself stiffen, "what?"
hughie laughed, "yeah, he's bringing the lynch girl, too. wants us all to meet her apparently."
before she lost her composure in front of her brother, she politely declined his invitation and shut her door. one of her hands tugged at her hair as she groaned in exasperation. who the fuck was "the lynch girl" and why was she apparently more important to johnny? she paced around her room quietly, not wanting to disturb her family, but unable to sit still. god, how could she have been so dumb? she pulled out her phone and sent johnny another text.
"nevermind, have fun at biddies." she slammed her phone onto her bed once the text sent. she didn't know why he would bother making plans with her just to blow her off. she knew he probably just forgot, but anger filled her nevertheless. she deserved better than to be his second choice, and she didn't care how much she liked him, she was tired of being his "best friend." slowly, she took off the outfit she had carefully picked out for him and pulled on her pink pajama set. she climbed into bed slowly, grabbing her favorite pink bunny stuffed animal and hugging it close to her chest as the reality of the situation dawned on her. johnny had stood her up. the truth, the real truth that she had been hiding from for months, was that she didn't just want to be johnnys friend. she wanted to be his everything. and for a moment, she thought he wanted the same, but clearly she was wrong. her covers were warm around her, and she fell asleep quicker than she imagined she would.

she woke up to a missed text from johnny. it was still dark outside, meaning it was still late at night, but she didn't care. she picked up her phone to read the text.
"sorry, completely forgot."
that's it? that was all he had to say for himself? furiously, she dialed his number and held her phone up to her ear. after three rings, he answered.
"charlotte?" he said, confusion laced in his voice.
"yeah, hi johnny," she said, her voice full of irritation.
"what's wrong?" she couldn't see him, but charlotte would bet he was frowning.
"what the fuck is wrong with you?" she snapped, tired of how bipolar he had been acting recently. one minute it was like he wanted her, and the next she was friendzoned again.
"what?" he said after a moment.
she scoffed, "you heard me."
"what the hell are you talking about?" he sighed, sounding exasperated, but charlotte didn't care. this was his fault.
"you completely stood me up johnny. and the only explanation i get is that you forgot? that's such bullshit."
"well what? since when is it your business what i do?"
charlotte laughed humorlessly, "nice johnny."
he was silent on his side of the line, so she continued, "and then i find out from hughie that you took another girl to biddies, instead of showing up and taking me to dinner like you said you would."
"jesus christ charlotte, you don't know anything about that situation." he sighed angrily.
"explain it to me then." she snapped.
"shannon needed more, the rest isn't any of your god damn business." he said meanly.
"didn't realize we were keeping secrets now." she scoffed.
"are you hearing yourself charlotte? you've been keeping secrets and lying to me since the very beginning. all that shit with the doctors and scar specialists? you think i don't remember that?"
he shouted.
"my medical health is none of your business." she said sternly.
"well my relationship with shannon is none of yours." he said in the same tone.
"didn't realize it was a relationship." she said mockingly.
"i'm not doing this with you," johnny said, ending the call. instead of feeling justified in her behavior, charlotte just felt empty. she didn't think johnny would treat her like that, yet he did. she hadn't even realized he knew about
her seeing a scar specialist. at the thought, the jagged scars down her back and stomach seemed to itch. rolling over, she squeezed her eyes shut, desperate for sleep, but she knew it was a waste. she wouldn't be getting any more sleep tonight, not with the way everything had turned out.