MIDNIGHT RAIN, ʲ.ᵏ

chapter 15 • casual

to say charlotte was mad was an understatement. she couldn't fall back asleep after that call with johnny, so she knew she was in for a bad day. she got up early, seeing as she wouldn't be getting much sleep anyway, and set out to make the most of this bad situation. she woke up early, made herself a healthy breakfast, and cleaned her room. by the time everything was spotless, the agonizing feeling in her heart still hadn't lessened. she paced around, wringing her mind to find a solution, but there was only one, and he didn't want to speak to her right now. or maybe ever. charlotte, for all her humbleness and generosity, had been vain enough to assume that she was the only option for johnny. that it was her, or nothing. to her, it wasn't a matter of "if" he liked her back, but "when". she hadn't even considered until last night that maybe, while he was looking at her and spending all this time with her, he was really wishing he was with someone else. someone like shannon lynch. she didn't know anything about shannon, not a single thing, and yet, the sound of her name and the mere thought of her made charlotte clench her fists in anger. she tried to force the thought from her mind, but all she could think of was johnny. her best friend, johnny. it was impossible to think that he wanted nothing to do with her, so charlotte had to ignore those thoughts. she spent the day nagging hughie about what all went down at biddies, which according to him, was next to nothing. shannon lynch was, according to him, quiet and cordial, not chatting much, blushing like crazy when people talked to her. she might be biased, but charlotte thought she sounded awful.
"listen char," her older brother sighed, "don't dwell on it. cap is doing what he's always done."
charlotte raised an eyebrow, "which is?"
hughie shrugged, "i don't know, mingling i guess."
she huffed a laugh, "thanks hugh."
he ruffled her hair and walked up the stairs before she called out after him.
"i'm gonna have liz over!" she shouted. he gave her a thumbs up and continued his accent up the staircase. not even an hour later, her friend was laying on her bed, listening intently to her recall the events of last night. charlotte knew what lizzie would tell her, that it would be okay, that she should move on, but charlotte just couldn't do that. she could remember the feel of his hands on her, soothing as he comforted her or took care of her, chasing away her worries with his gentle words.
"yeah," lizzie sighed, "that whole situation is...messed up."
charlotte laughed, "that's an understatement."
lizzie laughed with her for a moment before standing, "i have to go to the bathroom, i'll be right back."
charlotte nodded and went back to her thoughts while her friend was gone. after a considerable amount of time passed and lizzie was still gone, charlotte was mildly worried. she walked out into the hallway and checked the bathroom, which was empty. surprise filled her, and she found herself outside hughies room. she didn't know why, but she had the strangest gut feeling that she needed to go in. without knocking, she twisted the door handle and pulled it open. the room was dark, but no amount of darkness could disguise the sight of lizzie and hughie laying in his bed, kissing.

"oh," she said dumbly, too startled to even think of another comment, "this isn't the bathroom."
"charlotte!" lizzie squealed, shoving hughie away and clamoring off the bed. "it's not what it looks like."
hughie ran a hand through his hair, looking exasperated, "yes it is."
"hugh!" lizzie snapped, but the look in her eyes was fond and all of a sudden charlotte felt blindsided.
"you guys are..." she said slowly, gesturing between the two.
lizzie sighed, "yes, but it's not just casual char, hughie is..." she trails off, looking at him lovingly. in a way, charlotte felt sick and betrayed, but in a weird, strange way, she was happy for them. god knows lizzie needed something consistent. maybe they would be good for eachother. it was her wording that threw her off. casual. the word sent memories of johnny flooding into her mind, because really, that's what they were. casual. friends with something between them. a non committed, not serious something.
"char?" hughie said, pulling her out of her thoughts.
she startled, looking back at him and lizzie who were both watching her anxiously. "i'm..." she hesitated before sighing, "i'm happy you have eachother."
lizzie smiled widely, throwing her arms around charlotte, hugging her tightly. she twisted her head to look over at hughie, and he was smiling too. lizzie followed her back to her room, where she explained how her relationship with hughie had began. at the end of the night, lizzie went home, leaving charlotte alone with her thoughts yet again. the sun was setting, casting shades of pink and orange over ballylaggin. pulling on a rugby hoodie johnny had left over, she decided she wanted to take a walk to clear her mind. thoughts of him filled her mind, and unlike before, they were unescapable. she made it all the way to the town theater when she saw them. johnny was leaving the theater, his hands deep in her rugby jackets pockets as he laughed with the short, brunette girl that charlotte could only assume was shannon lynch. she stopped in her tracks, turning to stare at the pair. they looked good together, the masochistic part of her noted as she watched them. after a moment, johnnys head turned, and his eyes locked on hers. she thought for a second that he would say something, come up to her and apologize, tell her she was still his favorite girl, but he just shook his head and looked back to the girl next to him. charlotte froze. it couldn't be over, could it?

without a second thought, she turns and runs. she had no plans on where to go or what she would do when she got there, but she knew she had to go. she could barely see the road ahead of her, her eyes were too full of tears. how did it turn out this way? johnny had told her that shannon needed him more, but how could he say that when charlotte clearly needed him more than anything? before she could form another thought, charlotte was tripping over the base of a bridge. her eyes widened as she slammed onto the concrete and pain shot through her. this was the bridge. the bridge where caimhe young had committed suicide. when the pain in her stomach didn't subside she shakily reached a hand under her and pressed it against her skin. she pulled it back towards her, and the sight almost made her pass out. her hand was coated in blood, dripping down her wrists and onto the white sweatshirt she was wearing. johnnys sweatshirt.
"fuck," she gasped, panicking. she didn't know what to do. she rolled over onto her back, taking some of the pressure off of her somehow wounded stomach. she pulled herself up and leaned against one of the poles on the bridge when she noticed it. glass. the bridge was covered in shards of glass. and there, on the base of the bridge where she had fallen, was a pool of sticky red blood, and a trail of it leading to where she sat now. this was serious. she lifted up her sweatshirt to process the severity of the situation, and the sight almost made her pass out. there was a deep, gruesome cut trailing from her left hip bone to a few centimeters away from her right, with smaller cuts littered across the rest of her stomach.

"shite," she gasped, pressing a hand against the oozing wound. looks like she'd have to make another trip to the scare specialist once this monstrosity healed. if it healed. she was completely helpless. she didn't have her phone, she was too winded to call for help, and she certainly couldn't walk. there was nothing she could do. she closed her eyes and sucked in gasping breaths, the sound of footsteps racing toward her pounded in her head before she was lifted into a pair of strong arms. a familiar smell flooded her nose, but the pain of her wound prevented her from identifying it. when she finally fell unconscious, the arms around her seemed to tighten, holding her firmly against a muscular chest that felt all too familiar.