MIDNIGHT RAIN, ʲ.ᵏ

chapter 17• no complaints

charlotte had experienced a myriad of post traumatic symptoms after her accident, but hallucinations were a new one. when she came back to consciousness in the stuffy hospital room, the chair nexts to her was empty, and there was no sign johnny had even been there at all. she winced. she wanted so badly to get an explanation. to deserve all the bad things that had been happening to her, she must've done something awful. the only relief she got was the knowledge that she was being discharged from the hospital today. the day went by quickly with
all the discharge procedures. the drive home with her parents was primarily silent, despite her close relationship with both of them. she just couldn't stop thinking about how she had fooled herself into thinking johnny had been there. if that was the truth, why did he sneak off in the
middle of the night? he wouldn't. hallucinations were the only palpable explanation. she rested her head against the window, sighing loudly. when she got home, she ran to her room and flopped onto her bed, squealing into her pillows and clutching her stuffed animals closely to her chest. was she going crazy? no, that couldn't be it. she changed her clothes, determined to avoid the sight of the mostly healed cut that ran across her stomach. it was a gloomy day in cork. the sky cloudy, the chance of rain high. it was almost a perfect reflection of how charlotte feels. it was almost september. she pulled on a sweater and a pair of jeans, her normal clothing. she decided she had to do something to get out of her head, unable to focus on anything but the plethora of emotions swirling in her mind. she wasn't quite in the mood to go on a walk after what happened last time, so she opted to go for a drive instead. she didn't have a destination in mind, she just needed to get away. she didn't know how things had gone so wrong, but now her whole world was off kilter. johnny had left her. johnny was never there. after driving a while, she parked at the town gazebo to take a stroll. she walked aimlessly around town, but she couldn't run from the truth. he had abandoned her. as if her night couldn't get any worse, she ran into bella wilkinson. not physically, but they were the only two out on the streets, and she knew bella would make a fuss.

she grinned condescendingly, "oh, what do we have here?"
charlotte kept walking, determined to avoid that encounter, "shove off bella."
she only laughed, taking a step closer, "not too tough without kav there to protect you, are you?"
"could you just leave me alone?" charlotte said dryly, rolling her eyes.
bella took yet another step closer, "you are nothing. the only thing you had was johnny, and guess what? he's not here anymore, is he?" she whispered into charlottes ear.
she only scoffed, "right." she kept walking, despite bella following behind her menacingly.

after a few blocks of walking with bella trailing behind her, charlotte had enough. she turned around, glaring at bella.
"could you leave me the fuck alone?" she snapped, anger rushing through her.
bella put her hands up, laughing mockingly, "oh wow, little charlotte knows how to play."
before she could say anything, a voice came from behind her, startling her.
"what's going on here?" johnny said flatly, looking between the two.
"perfect timing," bella grinned, "i was just talking to your little girlfriend, don't worry."
"i am not his girlfriend." charlotte said sharply, before turning back toward johnny. he frowned, but stayed silent for a moment. bella scoffed and walked off, leaving the two of them alone for the first time in days.

"how are you feeling?" he asked awkwardly, running a hand through his messy hair.
"well." she said, not wanting to entertain a conversation with him.
"listen charlotte," he winced, before something caught his eye from across the street. he froze, and charlotte turned to see what he was staring at. gibsie, claire, and shannon were waiting next to claire's car, staring at him expectantly.
"don't let me keep you," she said in a tone harsher than she intended. she turned on her heel, walking swiftly back in the direction she came from so she could just go home. she was tired of this.
"wait!" johnny called after her, catching up to her quickly and gently grabbing her arm.
"what?" she shouted in exasperation, "what could you possibly want?"
he looked confused, "everything was fine when i visited you yesterday, what changed?"
"when you visited me yesterday?" charlotte repeated, her face full of skepticism.
he nodded, "do you not remember?"
"no," she said, "i remember."
"you...," he looked confused, "you thought i didn't come?"
charlotte raised an eyebrow, "well you haven't given me much of a reason to trust your commitment to this friendship," she said dryly.
johnny looked insulted, "you really think that lowly of me?"
she looked up at him, doing her best to keep her face indifferent as she met his gaze, "i try not to think much about you at all."
"right," he said after a moment of silence, "well, i think about you. often, and aimlessly."

charlotte sighed, breaking eye contact. true to the forecast, rain began to fall. "go back to shannon."
"god charlotte," he groaned, "i don't care about shannon. i don't care about bella or the academy or rugby, i care about you! can't you see that? nothing compares to you."
her eyes went wide, blinking away drops of rain that clung to her eyelashes, "what?" she asked, raising her voice so he could hear her over the rain.
he turned around, and for a moment she thought he was leaving, but he just ran a hand through his hair, exhaling heavily before turning back to her. he looked disgruntled and desperate, a look she had never seen on him before.
"i love you!" he shouted, her ears straining to hear him as the rain got heavier. "i've loved you since dublin, and everyday i've spent not telling you has been torture."
"johnny-" she started, but he cut her off by taking three long steps toward her and pressing his mouth to hers. he pulled away after a long moment, resting his forehead against hers and cradling her face like she was something precious.
"tell me you love me," he pleaded, "tell me you feel it too."
despite her earlier reservations, she nodded,
"i love you too."
the rain beat down on them as he kissed her once more, pulling her impossibly closer to him as he peeled off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders, sheltering her from the chill of the rain.