MIDNIGHT RAIN, ʲ.ᵏ

chapter 16• you found me

there was something uncomfortably familiar about the cork hospital. it had the same blank white walls, sterile smell, and sense of hopelessness that the ballylaggin local hospital had after her accident. being back in a hospital under such familiar circumstances would have made charlotte spiral at one point, but after countless therapy sessions and meetings with scar specialists, she had come to terms with what had happened. she was even ready to tell johnny about it, but it was too late for that now. she cracked her eyes open slightly, trying to take in her surroundings. she was tempted to sit up, but a dull pain and heaviness in her stomach prevented her from doing so. what had happened? her brain rushed to supply her with the memories she was missing, but all she seemed to remember was hughie and lizzie, running through town, the bridge. the bridge. her mind kept going back to the bridge, for a reason she couldn't understand. it wasn't until her eyes were fully open and the harsh hospital lights were blinding her that she remembered. she had fallen. a chunk of glass had cut her. she lifted her head up to try and look down at her stomach, at where she had been practically sliced open, but harsh jolts of pain had her laying back against the bed before she could get even a glimpse. she squeezed her eyes shut, and she found herself yet again wishing for johnny. he had brought her here, hadn't he? it was him who carried her when she was bleeding and only half conscious. so why didn't he stay? that idea alone seemed to make charlotte feel even more defeated, but her appearance and physique was something she prided herself on. she needed to see how bad it was. shakily, she pulled back the generic hospital blanket that had been tucked around her and forced herself into a sitting position. whatever pain she had felt trying to sneak a glance at the wound was nothing compared to the pain she felt looking at the jagged red stitching that now ran across her stomach. she knew it was vain and that she shouldn't care this much, but she had loved how she looked and now this cut was ruining everything. despite her knowing it wasn't anyone's fault but her own, she felt herself grow angry. and not just angry at anyone, angry at johnny. they-despite what he had repeatedly said- had to have been more then friends. it had to have meant something to him, because it definitely meant something to her. and he left her. bleeding and unconscious, he left her. and worst of all, he left her to be with shannon. shannon was beautiful, she had to admit. she looked nice, the kind of girl johnny would bring home to john and edel without shame. the kind of girl he would take to his rugby games, the kind of girl he would take on beach dates in dublin. yet charlotte kept finding herself going back to the memories of them together. the late nights, the honesty, the kisses. it was all gone now, ended before it even properly started, and for what? had it really been just a distraction to him? something to make the time pass faster before he could go pro? no, she knew that wasn't it. she was sure he had felt it just as strongly as she did. there was no way johnny could do something so cruel. charlotte snapped out of her thoughts when the door to her room creaked open. johnny kavanagh walked tentatively into her room, like a figment of her imagination. he ran a hand through his messy hair and took a seat in the chair next to her bed.
"hey," he said awkwardly.
"hi," charlotte said, looking over him like he was nothing more than a hallucination.
"what?" he asked, noticing her prying eyes.
"sorry, i just...i didn't think you would be here."
he looked insulted, "why wouldn't i?"
"you were with shannon," charlotte shrugged, like that was the only answer she needed.
"and you were bleeding out." johnny replied flatly.

they fell into awkward silence after that, broken only by the beeping of whatever monitor she was hooked to. it seemed like forever before johnny spoke again.
"you really thought i wouldn't come?" he asked, looking like what she had said was really eating at him.
"i just didn't think i was that high on your list of priorities." charlotte said, trying not to sound as affected by him as she was.
"you could be at the very bottom of my list of priorities and i still wouldn't leave you alone in the hospital." he said flatly.
"right," charlotte said, "my bad."
johnnys head snapped toward her so quick she was sure she imagined it. he stared at her like she had grown an extra head, like she was completely unfamiliar to him.
"can you stop?" he asked roughly.
charlotte sighed, "stop what, johnny?"
"stop acting like we're complete strangers. you know me, and i know you."
she shakes her head, "you're not acting like the johnny i know."
he sighs, "yeah, you're not acting like the charlotte i know either."

even though she had said the same thing to him, it had felt like he slapped her. not because of the way he said it, but because despite his words, she wasn't acting any different. she blinked away the tears that filled her eyes, and johnny leaned over her and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
"no," he smiled, "maybe you are still my charlotte."
she blinked, shocked at both the gesture and the affection in his words. maybe they weren't a lost cause after all. for the first time, charlotte allowed herself to imagine that shannon was just his friend, not his best friend, not like she was. maybe, despite these past few weeks, the love between them was still the same. she looked back at johnny to find him looking between the calendar hanging on the wall to the small clock on her bedside table. when the clock hit 12, he turned back to her, smiling skeptically.
"you know what day it is?" he asked.
she shook her head, her accident and everything else had scrambled her sense of time.
his smile widened, "it's the twenty fourth," he said, "of july."
charlottes eyes widened, "it is?"
he nodded, his eyes bright, "happy birthday baby," he said, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead, leaving her frazzled. her accident had thrown her off guard, but trust johnny to make her feel okay again. even though the circumstances weren't ideal, she couldn't think of any other person she would want to be with on her birthday.