The Babysitter|Genmui|

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟺𝟹-𝚂𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙶𝚘𝚘𝚍𝚋𝚢𝚎 𝙸𝚜 𝙷𝚊𝚛𝚍

Song-Dynasty(sped up)

Sometimes there could be times in life where you're so confused. Sometimes someone could be crazy and ask you something weird and disgusting for no reason. My life has been so mixed and messed up, and I always wanted to fix that. But I couldn't. If my brother was alive, I am pretty sure I wouldn't be acting so weird and have all of these mental issues. Which means he helps me through everything. I just want my brother back. I would do anything.

But he would be the favorite one and I just have a huge sense of jealousy. I can't control myself sometimes and just get so angry and destroy things because I don't get that type of love by my family.

Recently, Genya asked me if we were more than friends and I just kept thinking about it. He kept questioning me about that and I was just thinking "he's a pest!" I wanted to slap him in the face and tell him to stop, but I know how much he feels about us both. I know how much feelings he had, but stupid me, I have been having these anger issues, and I have a breakdown every single time. But there is nothing to stop that.

I just wish I wasn't like this. I wish I wasn't just so miserable and so angry. I think it's just me. I wish I would've cured his pneumonia. My parents couldn't—they didn't care! All they cared about was their alcohol, their intimate stuff and everything else! But I guess its just me. If there is anyone you could punish, you could punish me for every single bad thing I've done. And every single thing that shows you that I couldn't do enough things for other people and make them happy like I want to.

My hand rubbed my eye, realizing I've been crying ever since I started thinking about my brother and the issues I had to deal with. I cried my whole entire life, so this wasn't new to me. There was also things that I had trouble with. Other peoples attitudes when I'm trying my hardest. But what are the odds? Nothing could fix life no matter how much you try.

Ever since the beginning, it was my goal to get money for myself because I was living alone and again, my parents would never share money with me. I never knew that my life would be so hard for years. But that's what happens. When you want something, you at least have to go through something and achieve it.

I'm so sorry brother for not saving you. You know how much I tried. Yuichiro, you know how much I wanted love from my family. But I am misunderstood.

As I entered Genya's room and looked around, it smelt nice for once and he was laying down, playing on his games as he was distracted. He was chewing bubblegum at the same time, and I could suddenly feel his bored energy.

I mean, there was nothing else to do in the house so why not just let your kids—I mean adults do whatever they want around here? It sometimes makes me feel like a malewife when I'm cooking and cleaning in my free time.

"I have some news," I began. Genya turned his head to the side in curiosity, but he continued to look at his game.

"Hm?" He asked while he was distracted.

I put the dirty towel on top of his dresser as I turned off his game. His attention was finally on me.

"Hey!" He shouted. "I was playi—"

"I have some news," I interrupted, sounding stern. "I will be going soon and I might not see you again."

".. what?" He asked quietly, putting the switch down on the bed.

I was afraid to explain what the news were, but I cleared my throat and my head lowered.

"I will have to go soon," I explained with a stern tone. "What I meant was ... I might be leaving forever." I looked into his lavender eyes which were widening in surprise. "This will be my goodbye. I am not expecting you to miss me."

"This has to be a joke, right?" He seemed genuinely in shock. I never expected this reaction. I expected him to say Okay, goodbye now. See you never. But no.

"No, it isn't a joke." I then shook my head. My hands squeezed each other. I sat next to him on the bed, watching his worried face. "Throughout our lives, we meet countless souls; some touch our hearts briefly and then drift away, leaving behind cherished memories, while others stay by our side, enduring all of life's ups and downs, etching their presence into the very fabric of our being. Some people come into our lives and eventually leave, while others remain with us through all seasons. I promise—even though we are distant now—I'll always love you." I wiped away his one tear that dripped down his eye down to his cheek. "Don't ever forget about me, okay?"

"Where are you going now?—"

"Pack your things," Sanemi said as he glanced at me while passing by the room.

I realized I already did. The bag that was full of my stuff from my past home was in the guest room, ready for me to go. I didn't want to go, but I had to. I hated how my life was. If Genya still needed me, I would've stayed. But god, please keep him safe. He deserves better.

✵

I put the bag around my shoulder and I passed by Genya's room, then stopped. "Goodbye, Genya. Will I ever see you again?"

"M-maybe not," he replied with tears. He turned his head away. "I love you, Muichiro." He mumbled.

Thats when I walked down the stairs, closed my eyes and let the tears drop down to the floor.

I saw Sanemi in the kitchen and we made eye contact. "Bye, Sanemi."

"Wait," he stopped me. "Come here."

I walked over to him and looked away. "It's what you wanted, right? You think I don't belong in this house..? If it wasn't for my job, I wouldn't always be bugging you. Or be here!"

"Relax," he said. "I just wanted to say uh... have a nice life." He sighed, giving me a small wave awkwardly.

I stood there and hesitated to leave. He didn't yell this time. He didn't shout at me to leave because I didn't belong. I took a small sniff, looked around the place and thought about how much fun I had here with them. We were all laughing and shouting for fun, eating and playing, etc. I didn't want to cry, but this was a memory I don't ever want to forget. I looked back at Sanemi. "I do belong," I said. "I had many memories here and I do not want to throw that away."

He didn't say anything back.

"I came here just to babysit Genya, but I had so much unforgettable moments with you guys." I cried lightly. "It's not what I expected. I had so much fun. I'm sorry for bugging you, but aside from the babysitting, I wanted to fit in. But you didn't accept me. Why? Was it because I was annoying? Am I too strict?"

"No," he mumbled. "You did fit in. I just .. didn't admit it. Have a nice life, Tokito." That's all he wanted to say. He walked to the upstairs, bumping into my shoulder as he didn't want to continue the conversation.

I wiped away my tears and I feel like a wave of misery wash over me. But I was somehow happy. I wanted to leave this home of toxicity. Genya was almost 20 and I feel like he would be fine. I taught him how to cook, I taught him how to do stuff in his own way. If he wanted to do something, he would do it. If Genya ever forgets about me..our promise would be broken.

The end.