Forever With Me

Chapter 1 ~ 4 Years

Chapter 1 ~ 4 years

As I anxiously wait outside of the of dim looking hospital room I am sitting in the waiting room with about ten other people and me, I try to act calmly but there are thousands of things going through my head about what the doctor is going to say, I look around and see other people but I can barely notice them because I can't stop thinking about everything bad that had happend in my life and everything that I did to make it go wrong. As I continue to be nervous my mother is sitting next to me with her hand on my shoulder trying to tell me it's going to be okay but when I look at her I can tell she is having the same feeling I am, As the lady with bright red hair behind the check out counter slowly gets up from behind the desk with a white folder she firmly says the name

" Taylor Williams your next in room 239 "

My mom and I both look at each other and get up slowly I can feel my heart beating so loud I can't hear anything else, as we walked past the lady behind the counter she gives me a warm smile but I don't pay too much attention to it, as we walk into the hospital room the first thing you see and a big clunky hard white bed and two green small chairs , me and my mom both sit down and waited in pure silence for the doctor to come in, I wasn't expecting good news I mean I was hoping for good news but its not likely in my perspective , the doctor came , he gave me a smile but I just put my head down softly as I tried to hold in my emotions, the doctor went through the white folder that the lady behind the desk have him shortly before we went into the the room, the doctor ( Dr.Kevin ) sat up straight in his black chair and looked at us straight almost nervous

" Hello guys , I know it's been hard the last couple months not know your results of the test we have done in the last little while but I don't know how to say this but Taylor ... "

Before he could even finish the sentence I just couldn't hold in all the emotions anymore after months and months of not knowing if i was " cancer free " and everyday trying to act like im wasn't dying inside I started to burst out crying, at that very moment all my emotions just came out , the doctor just looked at me and said

" I'm so sorry "

I fell to the ground at this point and after about 5 minutes or so I calmed down and Dr.Kevin ask my mom if he could talk to her outside the room, I was sitting there with tears still coming slowly down my face I couldn't comprehend the fact that I truly had cancer, I really wanted to know what the doctor was saying to my mother, so as I was shaking trying to get off of the green chair quite enough to not let them hear me I pushed my hear ear against the wooded door, I couldn't really pick out what they were saying exactly but I heard

" four years left "

And I instantly knew what they were talking about, I felt like I was going to pass out but I didn't know what to do at this point I wanted to cry but now the sadness has almost turned into anger,

About 10 minutes later they both walked in and I could tell my mother was crying because of the her red face , my mom sat down with her arm around me, the doctor way saying something to my mom but I wasn't listening, I wasn't really listening to anything , I just kept thinking in my head about the " four years " as we walked outside of the hospital room it felt like a dream to me

We drove home in silence and when I went home I went straight to my bedroom just sitting there with a thousand things going through my mind.