Misconstrue

TWENTY-THREE district championships

I've had my fair share of large families. There was a time that I thought my father was related to everyone living on St. Kitts judging by the gatherings I used to attend before he migrated. After my parents split, I never really saw my father's side of the family anymore. My paternal grandmother always shared her unwelcomed opinion of me and so for the sake of my deteriorating mental health I stopped seeing her. 

I've forgotten what it's like being in the company of family members who genuinely like each other. There's so much laughter around me. I can sense joy in the air as it pours out from the eldest of adults to the youngest of children. Emilio is clothed in it as he took me around the yard introducing me to aunts, neighbours, distant cousins, and childhood friends. They are all welcoming, pulling me into conversations and looking for my reactions as they tease Emilio.

But sensing joy and feeling joy are two different things. Yet again, I am like an outsider looking in. My smiles are fuelled by pretense and my palms sweat as I force myself not to say the wrong thing. I'm filled with worry and nervousness, both born out fear that my pronunciation might be way off. Emilio hasn't taken notice of my mood which is probably because I've learnt how to hide my true feelings. 

This entire evening is making me sick.

How will any of this work if I keep hiding things from Emilio? 

"No more." Eliana gently pushes my hand away as I try to feed her. It doesn't seem like she will leave my side and I'm quite thankful for that since it's given me the chance to get away from the others.

"Are you full?" Eliana nods and I chuckle. There's something about a child's innocence that makes them so cute.

I look up after wiping the sides of Eliana's mouth to see Camila approaching us with a smile on her face and a beer in one hand. "Have you been behaving yourself?" Camila sits then lets out a long sigh. Eliana quickly climbs onto her mother's lap as she answers.

"Thank you for watching her." Camila rubs Eliana's back comfortingly, and I couldn't help but put a on a real smile. "Kids have so much energy when they get to this age."

I look out across the yard where the other children are playing and nod with a hum. "And I should also thank you for coming." Camila smiles at me as I look back at her. "I don't know if you can tell, but everyone's happy you're here. Emilio has never brought a girl to meet the family."

I don't hide my surprise. "I'm finding that a little hard to believe."

Camila chuckles softly. "Emilio's focus has always been football." The noise around us fades away as I gear up to pay close attention to what's about to be said. "When we were in high school, he didn't have time for girls since his life was split between training and studying."

I nod. "My friend mentioned that Emilio's first game with the national team happened when he was still a teen."

Camila reacts with a proud smile on her face. "Did you see the small house that's also on the property?" I nod once more. "That's where we all used to live. As you can imagine, space was limited. We didn't have much, but we were able to get by."

I'm pulled back into my surroundings as the laughter engulfs me once more. This is a happy family. You can tell it's always been that way. "Emilio left home when he was scouted for Atlético de Madrid Juvenil."

I look over at Camila with furrowed eyebrows. "What's that?"

"Atlético Madrid's youth team." Eliana shuffles as she moves from her mother's lap. One of the older children bellows her name across the yard and she takes off running in his direction. "Things started to change for us by then. Magdalena moved to Madrid with Emilio. Juan Carlos finally got approved for a small business loan for his beachfront restaurant. The second house took years to build but everything worked out in the end."