Misconstrue

TWENTY-TWO cars...

I somehow managed to sleep through my two alarms, if it wasn't for Emilio, I would've woken up in a frenzy. Instead, I was blessed with kisses all over my face courtesy of Emilio. That beats any lousy alarm, I can tell you that. It may not seem like much to Emilio, but that small thing is enough to make me feel appreciated. 

Emilio decided he needed one more gym session before we head out. He said something about preparing for a treble, then laughed softly when he realized I had no idea what he's talking about. I'm still a little worried that the stark differences between our careers would be enough for Emilio for lose interest. But so far, he enjoys my looks of confusion and many follow-up questions. I tell myself that it's normal to be interested in your partner's work, that's the only way I won't mentally chastise myself for being too annoying.

After getting ready I found myself in Emilio's expansive kitchen. I was once again shocked by the massive space but got over that quickly as I busied myself with something simple for breakfast. I zoned out during the monotonous act of whisking eggs and my mind whispered a single thought, *breakfast of what? Champions. Champions. I giggled softly, I haven't been maniacally quoting anything lately, but it's a little funny to me that I will always revert to my coping mechanism.

That thought drifts into nothingness as my phone buzzes angrily from the marble countertop.  The eggs are quickly forgotten as my stomach falls once I read the caller ID. My entire body feels light, as if all the energy I was using to hold me upright has suddenly dissipated. I grip the edge of the counter as I reluctantly reach for my phone. A call at this time, from this number, can only mean one thing. 

I decide to get it over with. "This is Balei." I try to maintain a steady voice. 

"Hello Balei." His raspy voice brings tears to my eyes. "Is this a good time?"

I take a deep breath. "It never is, Mr. Phillips." I drag my feet to a nearby chair. Something tells me that this isn't a courtesy call. 

Mr. Phillips is my family's caretaker, it's a position he's held for over two decades. I put all my trust in him, and shockingly my grandmother has done the same. Mr. Phillips gained my grandmother's trust over the years spent tending to our property. He was the only person who could cut the grass the way she likes. His role evolved over the years, and now he's helping me take care of my grandmother.

And if I must be honest, I haven't been the best grandchild, but I don't think that's entirely my fault. My grandmother has gone months forgetting who I am, and that I even exist. I also can't blame her either. 

"I'm afraid I have bad news." I nod as I steel myself. "Miss Ximena had another stroke." I close my eyes as I let the words wash over me. "This one was more serious than the last."

Fuck.

"Is she..." I can't even get the words out.

"Not yet." Mr. Phillips' voice drops. "The doctors think she has about a month left. Could be less."

I take a deep breath. "Okay." I stand slowly. "I'll come home before she passes."

****

Death always shows up unexpectedly. For me at least. When my mother got sick, my grandmother and I knew she would eventually die, but we didn't know exactly when. During the last days of my mother's life, I didn't sleep very well, I told myself that I shouldn't miss anything, that I shouldn't miss her very last moment. 

My mother passed away on a Wednesday afternoon.

I was missing too much of school and my grandmother forced me to return so that I wouldn't fall behind.  She didn't believe me when I said that gifted students don't fall behind. I think it was about thirty minutes after I got to the hospital that my mother died. It was as if she held on for the entire day while I was in school just so we could see each other one last time.