Misconstrue

"Is this step three or step FIVE?"

"...how tiny and insignificant..."*

I pace back and forth in the living room, grabbing all the necessities I'll need for tonight, and the following morning while ignoring Ben's worrisome look. 

"She hates me. She wants me to go."**

I give the overnight bag a hard kick and watch as it slides over to the front door. After double checking that my backpack has everything, I head towards the door. "Balei, she doesn't hate you." I spin around. "You do this every time she comes over."

Ben's girlfriend of a year and half likes to come over to our place, and as much as I tell myself that she's someone important to Ben, I still get the feeling that she doesn't like me too much. Of course, I thought that this is all in my head, but the moments when our eyes would meet, the brunette would look at me with such disdain.

"I'm not trying to be difficult Benjamin." He sighs at the sound of his name. "I'm just giving the both of you the apartment to yourselves, isn't that a good thing?"

He shakes his head. "Not when you're like this. Balei you're overly anxious and I'm worried."

"I mean, I'm always anxious, thinking I'm not living my life to the fullest."

"C'mon Balei, remember that promise you made?" I blink at him. "One quote per conversion?"

"Benny, babe..."

I involuntarily step backwards as a new voice comes from the hallway. Her naturally brunette-coloured hair falls to her shoulders in elongated waves. My eyes then zoom in on the navy-blue sweatshirt she's wearing, and I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes. 

The name Corpus Christi College mockingly glares at me as she makes her way over to Ben. The fact that Ben was in Somerville College would mean that he wouldn't be in possession of a Corpus Christi College top. 

Why is she wearing my clothes?

"Oh, hello Balei." She looks me up and down. "Are you going somewhere?"

"My brother's."

She smiles. "Oh, are you asking Ben for a ride?" She gives Ben a look. "Didn't you say you're tired from working that long shift last night? Are you sure you-"

I quickly interject. "I'm using the transit." Ben opens his mouth but I cut him off before he could say anything else. "You two enjoy your evening."

I wander the neighborhood for a while, taking the transit was just an excuse I used to get that thorn-in-my-side to shut up. But in truth, I hate taking the transit, or in other words, taking the transit makes me anxious. 

There, I said it. 

Everyday tasks are not easy for me, I've grown to accept that about myself, but the way Amelia looks at me, makes me feel like an idiot to be honest. And maybe she can't help it, maybe she's just jealous of how close Ben and I are, maybe I really am too dependent on Ben. Maybe I shouldn't let her make me feel uncomfortable in my own home.

But then I also have a short fuse, and I don't want to put Ben in a situation where he has to choose who to side with. I honestly can't tell what he sees in her, that girl is absolutely infuriating, and a bit shady when it comes to her feelings about me.

If the friendship I have with Ben is such a bother to her, then why won't she say something? Instead of coming off as passive-aggressive all the time, she should just say whatever the hell's bothering her. Or maybe I should be the one to get the ball rolling, maybe I should just get the hell off my ass and march back to my apartment. Maybe-