Hearing You Say I Love You

~*~Nine~*~

•AUSTIN•

My throat was going dry, my eyes flashed over her last message several times trying to comprehend what she was saying to me. She wanted to meet me, yet she had something she had to tell me first. It made no fucking sense to me. I sighed grabbing at my matted down curls, the fact that I was slightly tipsy from hanging out with the guys wasn't helping my mind. It was fucking racing.

We've been talking to each other for three weeks and it wasn't like we were still stuck in the awkward conversation stage. We actually talked to each other. We told each other things, I mean at least I thought we did. Now she has one thing to share with me before we meet each other which has me thinking it's something serious if she didn't bring it up until now.

The first thing that my mind went to was that she had a kid. Which fuck okay maybe she wasn't as innocent as she came across on Insta, but I was okay with that. I liked a secret little wild side. But a kid? Yeah I wanted kids, fuck I wanted to have a huge family but that was definitely not something her and I have talked about. I might have been a stalker, but I wasn't a stage five clinger. But a kid? I sat back in my chair rubbing at my beard chuckling to myself. A kid wouldn't be so bad, she seemed like she was responsible and someone I'd like to raise a kid with. It'd be a change for me, but I need to fucking grow up.

AUSTIN: Okay, so I can't lie. You have my head fucking spinning right now.

OAKLEY: I know Austin. I am so sorry. I should've told you what I need to tell you from the beginning but it has always been a deal breaker with anyone that I meet. They say that they can handle it, but then they can't.

Fuck. It's definitely a kid. The way she worded it, the way people have reacted. It had kid written all over it. I didn't really think I'd have a kid in this way, but I'm sure she was a packaged deal and I was ready to give it a try.

AUSTIN: I'll let you tell me, but you need to know what I'm thinking. So give me three guesses and then if I don't get it, feel free to spill the beans.

OAKLEY: Fair enough. I'm sorry I'm putting you through this.

AUSTIN: It's okay, here it goes. You have a kid.

OAKLEY: What!? A kid!? Oh no. No no no no no.

I felt my heart stop in my chest. She seemed slightly upset over my assumption. Did she not want to have kids at all? This really wasn't the timing for asking the question but now I had to know.

AUSTIN: A relief kinda. You seemed pretty upset that I guessed that. I have to ask, do you even want kids?

OAKLEY: Oh no! I wasn't upset, just shocked that was the first thing that came to your mind. Yes, I do want kids. I'd love to have a big family. I just haven't found anyone who is ready to deal with this for the long run.

Okay, so it wasn't a kid. A weight lifted off of my shoulders. As much as I wanted to be a Dad, I knew that I wouldn't be ready right now. But for Oakley I knew that I would give it my best try.

If it wasn't kids, the next thing that came to my mind was a drug or alcohol problem. It added up the more I thought about it. Not going out that much with her friends. Making the decision that she would rather stay home and read her books. I couldn't be a fucking hypocrite if it was because fuck, I've been down that path before and if it weren't for my Dad I probably wouldn't fucking be here right now.

But I'd be able to help her. I could tell her how to cope with it when it came to wanting to get her next high or get drunk off her fucking ass. Okay, I wasn't really past the drinking part yet, but I'd hop on the wagon and stay on the wagon to help her.