"So, Phil. Where is this mysterious Dan? You said he'd join us tonight, and that's why I brought Nicole," James says as he takes a swig of his beer. I punchhim playfully in the arm.
"I don't know...... Here, let me ring him," Phil says, pulling out his mobile. He dials in a set of numbers and then holds it up to his ear. He pauses and waits several seconds before his face lights up.
"Dan! Where are you? James and Nicole are waiting," He says scoldingly. The muffled sounds of a reply comes.
"What do you mean you can't come?" Phil asks, slight anger raising in his voice. The reply comes, and Phil instantly has a look of dissapointment and understandning on his face.
"Oh..... Do you need me to come back to the flat?" Phil asks, beginning to slip on his jacket. He stops mid way.
"Are you sure, Dan? I mean these things get bad," Phil says hushed into the phone. Reluctantly he slips off his jacket.
"Alright. I'll be home soon," He sighs as he hangs up.
"What's up with Dan?" I ask. From Phil's side of the conversation, it sounded pretty serious.
"He's uh..... You ever had a moment where you question the entire existence of the universe or why you exist or that existence itself is pointless or when you think about how one day everyone will die?" Phil asks.
Oh fuck. I go back and think it over. Every day of my life I have a moment where I question at least one of these things. The worse "episode", as James and I call it, was when I lied face down in my bed for 49 hours straight. My stomach would tighten and my heart would be rapidly and I would feel nothing but dread and loneliness for hours.
"Oh my god! Nicole has those all the time! Right Nicole?......." James asks, but his face freezes with worry when he sees the vacant, depressed look on my face as I think about how I don't need to exist and neither does anyone else.
"Oh bloody hell. Did I send her into an existential crisis?" Phil asks, his voice far away and meaningless.
"I think so..." James frowns.
I lay my arms on the table and burry my face into my arms. James nudges my shoulder.
"Colby?" He asks. Colby? Me? Or the pointless human that exists for no reason like everyone else.
"Oh fuck," James mumbles.
"I'm sorry James," Phil says.
"No, it's okay. Just give her a little bit."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Almost an hour later I raise my head from my arms. Phil looks ashamed and very very apologetic.
"Are you okay?" He asks.
"Uh.... Yeah. Just, didn't expect one of my episodes today," I say as I let out a shaky laugh. He frowns but nods anyway. I look around and see that it's just me and Phil, save a few drunken customers. I check my watch and see it's almost time for the pub to close.
"Where's James?" I ask, looking around for my brother.
"Uh..... Yeah, uh.... He left. He got a call from a client and had to go straightaway to the office. He asked if I would stay with you until you were okay," He says. Typical James. Leave me with someone I barely know to go do his job.
"Well, thank you Phil. You certainly are alot kinder and nicer than James or any of his University buddies that I have me before," I say smiling. Phil grins and I see his cheeks grow slightly pink.
"Would you like to split a taxi then? Get you home before one of the burly drunks hits on you. I may look tough and like I can kick some butt, but I can barely lift a ten pound baby," He shrugs. I laugh and nod.
YOU ARE READING
A Daydream Away (A danisnotonfire fanfic)
Fanfiction"We're gonna die. No bloody fuckin' doubt about that. And we're gonna cry too. We will suffer the feels from what we've done. But you know what? We're also gonna laugh. We will laugh together and at eachother until the world ends....... And we're go...
