Loving You Black & Blue | Miguel O'Hara x Felicia Hardy

Ch. 14: Guts

[Nueva York - E-928]

Who knew how long she had been floating in that warm darkness? Felicia felt untethered from her body, adrift somewhere at the edge of life and death. I don't know what I expected out of almost dying, but I didn't expect to see him here.

She had dreamed of Peter each time the darkness had wrapped itself around her brain. Even when she couldn't see him, she felt his presence in her subconscious – akin to being in a dark room and knowing that somewhere out there you were being watched.

"Damn, kid. You've got to look out for yourself better than this."

Felicia searched the black haze of her mind for Peter, "Peter, I don't know if I'm gonna be okay." She could swear that she felt tears swimming behind her closed eyelids.

"Shh. You'll make it. You're a tough girl."

"I'm scared, Peter."

Then she could see his face clearly in her mind's eye. The boyish good looks and his golden retriever floppy hair. That same faint sadness he always had in his expression.

"Why are you scared?"

Felicia felt her chest aching, like the instant before a gasping sob, but nothing happened. Her breathing was still shallow. She knew her body was so weak. She was deep in her sleep... so far away from the bright white room from before. "I don't want to die."

"Are you afraid of dying?"

"I'm afraid of leaving Miguel all alone. What if..." she felt her body heave, "I never thought there would be anyone that actually cared for all of me. You know?"

If Peter was still there, he had nothing to add. Felicia felt embarrassed and devastated... most of all desperate. If I was looking for a sign that I couldn't live without that man, I guess being confronted with death itself is about as obvious as it gets.

********************

"Miguel, you really should sleep."

He ignored LYLA, staring through the large window of the operating room. The entire medical team had been working tirelessly for days on end to stabilize her. Felicia's muscle wall had been completely sliced through and her liver and kidney had taken the worst of the damage. Fortunately, according to the lead surgeon, the serum in her body was incredibly potent and was fighting for her. In fact, the greatest present danger was that it would heal too quickly and make it more challenging to complete the reconstructive work that was needed. If they could get her properly patched up, she would recover nicely and quickly.

Such as it was, they had kept Felicia under for the past several days. At least one us is resting.

Miguel's body ached from the too-small chair that they allowed him to keep by her side. He had protested but the doctors didn't need him "taking up the space" (their words) when they operated. It was in these moments, when he couldn't be by her side, that LYLA forced him to eat something or take a long shower. Miguel knew that everyone at headquarters was walking on eggshells. He would face that later.

Felicia's body was obscured behind the living wall of the medical team. The fullness of her cheeks had hollowed, but some of her color had returned. Miguel had to believe the doctors when they said she was improving, but he wouldn't be convinced until she opened her eyes.

Several hours passed and Miguel kept his vigil. He wasn't a religious man. He had no idea who to pray to. But, nevertheless, his mind reached out for his abuela. She died when he was very young but all of his memories were of soft hugs, kisses on skinned knees, pozole on the stove, and whispered kindness when his mother was in one of her moods. Abuelita, if you have any pull wherever you are, I know someone who needs help.