𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐬. 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰-𝐈𝐭-𝐀𝐥𝐥 | South Park x Reader

❝𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐲 𝐥𝐚𝐯𝐚 𝐰/ 𝐂𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐠❞

There was only one possible MVP in the fight against Professor Chaos' minions, and it couldn't be anyone but: Hammond.

The tiny hamster, no bigger than your palm, was surprisingly strong and agile despite its size. He squared off against the much larger dogs and kids just fine. You saw him leap and latch onto one of the dogs' noses, causing the dog to yelp and stumble back.

He kept going around, biting anyone and everyone, whether it was on their ankles, faces, he didn't care. He just bit anything he could see. You're pretty sure you witnessed him bite Cartman soon at a point, all while not being spotted.

He caused quite the commotion amongst the kids, who were taken aback at having to fight a hamster, of all things. They tried to grab him, but he darted between their legs with incredible speed, zooming away whenever they got close to catching him. Giving you the time to hit them with your bo or punch them when they were not paying attention.

One of the kids lunged, but he evaded effortlessly, skittering up his arm and delivering a sharp nip to his ear. The kid yelped, waving his arms in surprise, and you just approached him and delivered a straight punch to his face, knocking him out.

You had a sudden thought cross your mind. Would the boost work on Hammond as well...?

╔═══━━━━ • ━━━━═══╗

𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐓'𝐒 𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐄

𝐓𝐎 𝟏𝟎?

➤【𝒀𝑬𝑺】 『𝐍𝐎』

╚═══━━━━ • ━━━━═══╝

It worked, maybe a bit too well. During the second wave of enemies, he zoomed around faster than the Flash himself, biting every Mexican man wrapped in tinfoil who got too close to you. You even rejected Kyle's kite shield, as you already had a tiny bodyguard making sure you didn't get hit.

"It's fine, give it to someone else!" You exclaimed as you swept one of the men off their fit with your bo, making him fall on his back. "Hammond's my personal shield anyway."

He looked around, wondering if you were serious about being protected by a hamster, but once he caught sight of the critter biting anyone who was too close to be comfortably hit with your bo, he looked impressed. Shocked, wondering why you would boost the hamster instead of them, but impressed nonetheless.

Thanks to you and your companion's combo attacks, the fight against the wave of Chaos Minions didn't last long, and you finished the battle unscathed.

"That hamster is... something." Kyle commented, the others nodding, thinking if it was weird that they were starting to get scared of a hamster.

Hammond calmly returned towards you, climbing up your legs and returning to its place on your shoulder once you were done, waiting for you to acknowledge his efforts and strength.

"Look at you, you're so strong." You smiled, rewarding him with some pats on the head and some scritches. "Good boy."

He squeaked, looking proud of himself.

'i wish i were that hamster' Dovah made his text-to-speech say, making everyone turn towards him. Someone had the idea in his head to reply with 'same', but didn't. You, on the other hand, just looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm not calling you a good boy." You stated, making Dovah deflate. "Hammond is the only one deserving of this title."

Oh, to be a hamster.