A Thousand Times Goodbye to a Memory that Remains

Of Wolf and Man ~

My eyes were teary and filled with disparity as I ran through the party shoving aside all the slutty men. I finally reached my safe haven, the bathroom.

I reach desperately for the handle, yanking and twisting but to no avail.

Again!

Yank! Yank!
Twist! Twist!

I feel the frustration bubbling up.

"Open the door!" My tiny, petite mouth yells like a tiger.

...

I see the door knob shake before the door BUSTS straight open almost knocking my tiny body over. A man with beautiful dark curly hair is standing on the other side.

"Oh, sorry about that," he laughs awkwardly.

The lighting was dim, so I couldn't quite make out his features but I could tell he's handsome.

"I was taking a massive shit in there, might want to wait a minute 'til it airs out" he rubs his neck in shame."

"O-o-o-o-oh.. that's o-o-okay..." I stutter out, I wipe my eyes slowly and the man takes notice.

"You okay?"

Me? Okay? After that night I've had okay is the farthest thing from how I feel.

"Oh.. yea... just..." I shrug my tiny, little, so tiny little tiny shoulders super tiny, "I just needed a break from the party,"

"Oh, well the patio is half-decent, want me to take you there?" He replies in a tone of sincerity.

It was at this moment I realized this is not just any man who blows up bathrooms at random parties, this is the man who blows up his OWN bathroom and his OWN party.

Kirk Hammet.

My Hetfield's roommate.

"Uhh... yes... the patio sounds..." I trail off,

"Nice."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We reached the patio and his body odor was almost nauseating. I wondered if all musicians don't shower, or maybe just the men? Because this entire party has smelt like a whole can of bounce-that-ass.

The lighting, once dim, was now harsh. I watched as he turned to see my properly lit face, and watched as his face contorted to one of confusion.

"You're a woman??????"

"Ya?"

"Damn,"

We stood in silence for a few moments. I again wondered if maybe LA had a deodorant shortage of some sort. I tried desperately to think of things like flowers or rainbows or puppies, anything smelt better than this, but sadly it did not work. His stench mixed with that of hairy, disgusting men, vomit, and alcohol all swelled up and I hurled all over Kirk.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD," he screamed.

Somehow it smelt better this way.

He began shouting profanities as I stared into space.

"You know what," he clocks a gun out from his side.

"Woah, WOAH" I scream as he pushes the gun into my head.

"I can't stand this shit, first I thought I found some twink but it turns out it's just some butch, then it fuckin' vomits on me??" He scowls

"Wait who are you calling a but-"

"I can't stand women these days, you know if they all just stayed in their place and washed dishes and all that bullshit maybe life could be good again,"