Stuck and Alone (hosie)

Chapter 5

"Just calm down" I rocked against the side of my desk. I angrily hit my head against the desk and balled my fists. I tangled and ripped my hair with my fingers. Whining and crying at how I just couldn't calm down. My fingers trembled and my room started coming apart and my lights started flickering and popping.

"Hope" Caroline opens my door and looks around trying to dodge flying objects.

I try to calm the racing objects but it just makes them speed up.

"Hey what's the matter." She swats flying objects and crawls over to me.

"Hey" she rubs my back gingerly.

"You obviously know they are used to my..temper tantrums." I look over.

"I wouldn't call them temper tantrums. You were upset and trying to self regulate." Emma adjusts her glasses. " Many people struggle with that as it is not including the magic elements,"

"Caroline usually picks me up when I'm really upset and she can't calm me down. It's what she does for Lizzie and Josie when they're upset. When she had them she was still young. She didn't know what else to do to stop them crying or when one hurt the other. She would just pick them up and rock them. She told me that a long time ago. I was embarrassed she did that in front of other people when I was upset ."

"Just breathe" she rubbed my back and whispered unflinchingly when objects were hurled at and around her.

"I don't know how she had the patience for me or why she did. She never got angry at me being a mad kid. She never talked about me like I was a dangerous threat to everyone including myself. She was just always there somehow. It's like she had a sixth sense for something being wrong with me. Or when I just needed someone to care about me and be there. It made me so sad when she would go on missions. She was there for me when I needed someone for family day even though Lizzie was furious I got to go with them instead of staying in my room all day. "I look out the window.

"She's what my mom tried to be." I look off into the distance as far as I can see. "I love my mom and she loved me, but she was scared of what I could do. She wasn't in love with my dad so she saw his actions on more of an outside perspective. I don't blame her for being afraid after all I locked her in a box." I glance at the floor.

"You haven't ever talked about that ever with me." She looks shocked.

"I just don't want my actions to be misconstrued. I don't know I figured if I told people it wouldn't make much sense. I don't want to be called a liar."

" I know a bit about what happened we had a meeting with your Aunt over it a long time ago."

"Jesus Christ"I groan

"She didn't say much on it she was extremely upset as your mother just passed and she was being interrogated about how much you loved your mom. I'd have to say a real foul on my part."

"I've never seen her angry before"  I add before an awkward silence

"It's okay if you don't want to talk about it now." She adds

"I don't know.. I just want to know what you know."

"Okay I'll tell you what I know." She puts her clipboard to her side.