Love Starts Out in the Darkness

Part 11

The fight continued for quite some time until Lindsey eventually refused to argue anymore. He opened an expensive bottle of whiskey that he'd been saving for a special occasion, anything lighter just wasn't going to do it. Carol gave up too when he no longer responded to her. It wasn't pleasant, staying in the apartment, but she had nowhere else to go and he wasn't exactly kicking her out either. So, they were in separate rooms and had been for hours. Lindsey didn't expect his night to go the way it did at all.

Stevie obviously wasn't very happy with Lindsey either. She did reply when he messaged her again, though, so maybe things weren't that bad. However, he could clearly sense that she was angry with him. The texts between them weren't cute at all, no jokes, no teasing, no sexual innuendos. He missed her, he wanted to be with her, but it just didn't feel right, not now.

"Are you planning on coming to bed?"

Lindsey scoffed, hearing Carol's voice. He swallowed a large gulp of his drink and shook his head. 

"Not even speaking to me, huh?"

Lindsey sighed heavily, running a hand over his face. "I don't know what you want me to say."

"You need to sleep." Carol said, coming into his view. 

"The couch is fine." Lindsey shrugged, wrapping his fingers around the bottle for a refill. "Won't be the first time."

"My God, Lindsey, can you talk to me like a normal person?" Carol demanded, folding her arms over her chest. "Tell me, do you want me to leave?"

"It's the middle of the night, where are you gonna go?" Lindsey glared at her. "I'm not that big of an asshole, I'm not going to just throw you out."

"Thanks." Carol rolled her eyes. She took a step closer and lay her hand on his arm as he was bringing the glass up to his mouth. "Don't you think that you've had enough?" He paused, she reached for the glass to take it away from him. "Come on, Lindsey, come to bed." Her hand now on his shoulder, squeezing gently. "You just need to rest, you'll see things differently in the morning."

Lindsey didn't move, he was carefully considering whether going to sleep in his bed, where Carol would no doubt join him, was the right decision to make. He was physically and emotionally drained...

~

As much as he would have loved to get some rest, Lindsey couldn't fall asleep. While Carol had no trouble drifting off, Lindsey was guilt-ridden. How did things take such a turn? It's your own fault, Lindsey thought, stepping out onto the balcony for some fresh air. He should have told Stevie, he should have been honest with her from the start. He found someone who made him happy, who made him feel alive again and... He sighed, staring into the night. There was no way he could hide this from her, especially not if he wanted for their relationship to continue to grow. If she even wants you anymore, Lindsey bitterly reminded himself. He wondered if she was having a sleepless night too, probably, because of you. He really didn't mean to hurt her. He just never thought that anything was going to come out of a few silly messages. If only he could turn back time, he would let her in on his situation. Maybe things wouldn't have gone that far if he had talk to her about it. She told him, she was was scared of him breaking her heart. His eyes glazed over with tears. Stupid, so fucking stupid, he cursed at himself.

~

AN: what is Lindsey really guilty about? For lying to Stevie or...