brown // kim seungmin ✔️

chapter five

not his

"hey, seungmin... it's me. i was um... calling because i... i miss you..." you start, your voice awkwardly low as you wanted to prevent any of your friends from hearing this. "i um... don't know if you remember or... if you even really care but, you said that, if we need a break from everything, that i could call you, and we'd drop everything and get together, just to escape for a little while..." you trail off, hearing your friends laughing and making small talk outside of the bathroom door.

"anyways... if you get this... i um... i think i wanna cash that in... i know i'm supposed to be going to the beach but, i've felt like absolute shit for the last two days. and... i think i realized that i don't need a crazy beach vacation, hell, i don't even need a cute welcome home party... i think i just need you..." you trail off again, a stray tear rolling down your cheek. you weren't sure how it took you so long to realize it, but god, you missed him. you missed him so much.

"you're probably busy so, i guess if you want to... call me back. i um... i think i'm going to skip out on the trip so... if you're up for it... meet me halfway, at that park that we stopped at together when i first came up here. you know the one... um, i'll be there whether or not you're there so... see you later? maybe? hopefully... sorry i'm rambling... um... bye..." and with that, you end the message, a sigh escaping your lips.

"hey? are you okay in there?" your roommates voice sounds from behind the door.

"you guys are gonna hate me..." you reply. "i'm not feeling well..." luckily, the shakiness in your tone helped convince your friends.

"do you want us to wait? we can push the booking back another day—"

"no, you guys should go!" you tell them, happy that this conversation was behind a door, they would never listen to you if they saw the tears streaming down your cheeks. "seriously, i'll join you guys if i start to feel better." you add.

"are you sure?" you could tell they were reluctant, but at the same time, they were really looking forward to this trip. and you were too at one point.

"i'm sure. send me lots of pictures!" you tell them, trying your best to smile. your friends each mutter their individual "see you later's" and "hope you feel better's", eventually leaving you alone in the dorm, feeling extremely sorry for yourself.

you'd honestly hoped that seungmin would have called you back by now, or maybe even texted. but there was nothing. you wondered if it would even be worth it to drive all the way to the park. would he even show up? did he even get the message? you couldn't be certain, but you also didn't want to go back on your word.

you force yourself out of the bathroom, opening your closet and looking for a comfy outfit as you were not in the mood to even try to put something nice together. your eyes landed on a large brown hoodie, the one that seungmin had given you as a goodbye gift before he left to go back home. a sad smile tugs at your lips as you pull it off the hanger, quickly sliding it over your graphic black t-shirt that you had slept in. you then slide out of your pajama shorts, reaching for a pair of black leggings, sliding them on to complete the outfit.

you grab your purse, keys, wallet, and phone, already calling an uber as you begin heading down the stairs. it would take you about two hours to get to this park. and you were sure that seungmin would call back by then. you were sure.

seungmin on the other hand was conflicted. of course he had gotten your message, hell the only reason he didn't pick up was because he was in the shower. at first he was beating himself up over missing the call, but after hearing your message, he was glad that he had missed it. he didn't think he would have been able to handle the sadness in your tone. he wouldn't have been able to hear all the things you had to say, because from the first word, he would have already been driving to pick you up.

there was a part of him that didn't even want to go see you. the part of him that had been trying to move on from you, because clearly you'd moved on from him. but the other part of him was ready to drop everything to see you again. he was conflicted, listening to the message over and over, trying to decipher each and every one of your thoughts just by the tone of your voice.

he wondered why you didn't just come all the way home. why had you opted to meet him at a halfway point? he wasn't sure, but he also wasn't sure that it mattered. he hadn't realized how much time he had wasted pondering over every little thing. it had now been just over three hours since you'd called him. you were likely at the park now, and he hadn't even began to make his way there.

so as quickly as he could, he gathered all of his things, cursing silently as he rushed to see you. he couldn't be sure that'd you were still there, but you had to be. sure he could have called to ask, but he didn't have that time to waste.

he had to get there before you left. he didn't think he'd be able to live with himself if you'd thought for even a second that he wasn't going to show up.