What might have been

It is not easy to accept change.

Colin and Marina had departed for Kent alongside Benedict and Violet three weeks prior. Daphne's admission of her desire to separate from the Duke had been another blow to the family. Violet had returned to Mayfair more than a week ago to support Daphne. Colin read the letter from his brother yet again. Eloise and Penelope Featherington were due to arrive at Aubrey Hall as the female presence to support Marina. He had not seen Penelope since their quarrel in her drawing room. In retrospect, Colin realized that his accusations had been pointless. In the end, it was her cousin he had married, insisting upon the match against the warnings from his family and Penelope. He understood on some level that she could not have spoken openly about Marina's pregnancy, especially given that an unmarried woman being with child was a taboo—a subject against which all young ladies were taught, or more often than not, completely unaware.

Penelope had been right. He had been blind to many things concerning Marina. He had viewed Penelope as a young debutante who knew nothing of love or the ways of the world when she had tried to speak with him. He might not have believed her or might still have "played hero" as she had said. It did not matter. That argument revealed to him what she truly thought of him—how insignificant and foolish he appeared in her eyes, "a boy trying to play the role of a man," he thought bitterly.He was even more of a fool to think that she was his friend. No betrayal from Marina could have wounded him as deeply as that of his so-called friend, who evidently believed he deserved to be betrayed. Why was she coming here if she could not stand the sight of him? Ah, yes, to be Eloise's companion, he thought bitterly. It was none of his business what Penelope Featherington did; he was determined to avoid her, just as he had avoided Marina since his arrival. This was not difficult, as Marina had not actively sought him out, at least not since the first few days they had arrived, when she had been attempting to convince him she was not with child. The vomiting during the journey suggested otherwise. When Colin confronted her about her failed attempt to rid herself of the child—well, Colin was not the only one doing the avoiding around here. He was slightly concerned about Penelope's presence, considering Marina had tried to shift the blame onto Penelope multiple times. Nevertheless, he resolved to stay away from all the women who were not part of his household for now.

"I did not think you were serious when you said you were going to find a husband. I thought it was, well, a temporary situation," said Eloise, still in disbelief even though Penelope's declaration had been weeks ago.

Penelope chuckled, though she was aware that her laugh did not reach her eyes. "I cannot stay at my house any longer. I wanted to leave before Mama found out I had betrayed her by revealing Marina's pregnancy. Also," she laughed genuinely, "I never want to see another shade of citrus again." Penelope was glad to erase most of her history with the yellow dresses.

"Well, I was not aware you hated your dresses so," Eloise laughed. "Tell me again," she said eagerly, "how you convinced your mama to let you dress in any way that you want."

"Well, I simply told her that, considering I don't have any prospects, if I am not wearing yellow, my sisters will look so much prettier in comparison—even more than they already are. This would give them an ego boost so they could get married faster, and then she would have all the time to focus on me later, as I will need a lot of help afterward." Penelope laughed genuinely, but it turned sour. "Even the drastic wardrobe change hasn't gotten me any serious suitors. The prospects are better, but I am not. I don't have any skills in flirting; it's not doing me any favors," Penelope admitted.

"I hate the whole system... I will never understand why you want this. But I am sorry for trying to degrade and discourage you this last week. I am a little sad that we can't be spinsters together. Maybe I can still convince you," Eloise said, suddenly hopeful.

"I would be satisfied with pleasant companionship like Philippa and Prudence have—or rather, want," Penelope replied with a self-deprecating smile. "But considering my lack of suitors, the possibility of spinsterhood is not far-fetched at all."