Unkissed. (Rated R)

47.👑

It was like swimming through a current.

Though my speech left the crowd in silence, a part of me wasn't settled. I am disturbed by the way it went, questions bounce in every corner of my brain pertaining to how it was handled, and the outcome of the future. I could not help but think if I allowed my temper to get a hold of me or worn my heart on my sleeves, thus showcasing a Queen either too soft or too brute amongst her people. I shift uncomfortably, slightly trembling while I constantly fight the bile that claws up my throat.

I fucked up.

Failed to remain humble, but instead fell right into a mousetrap, ambushed by the questions. Questions I didn't see coming and was not prepped for. I sit uncomfortably in the back of the car, my head angled towards the window trying not to get caught in a wave of nausea, despite the steadied motions of the vehicle I become cocooned by my insecurity.

My dress suddenly begins to tighten around the vital areas of my body, threatening to cease the air in my lungs, darkness follows shortly after, spreading its inky color around my vision as I trembled, suffocating as I sunk further into a deep depression when I was disrupted by a latch sound of my opening window.

With the hit of a breeze, I part my lips to greedily inhale the crisp oxygen of wind, and an earthy aroma. My nerves unbind and the heat flees immediately, I can suddenly breathe again, and my body has never been so happy. The tears that brimmed soon dried, but with the gloss of my eyes I peer over to the man in the driver seat.

His marbled honey eyes only spared me a single glance before he tends back to the road, I noticed than the air conditioner was open, and it was only my window that was slightly cracked, symbolically freeing me from my burden.

And as my sorrow was lifted, only than my trembles and worries are steadies and my lips stretch into a smile, and I peer back to the window, this time admiring the earthy grounds of blooming lemon and orange fruits that sprout on the tall green trees.

My next destination was a bit far out, but it leaves me time to rest my nerves. And for the next hour, the car ride is silent, but our eyes occasionally meeting each other's through the rearview mirror, stars dance in the corners in mine as I found myself continuously getting lost to him while he looked away but cower when he looks up, failing to hide my smile.

The car than swiftly maneuvers to a left turn and promptly the scenery changed, all the bright colors of the green leaves turned to hickory brown, the grey bark of the tree from before are now inked with strange black color. Unkempt grass and sleeping figures aside old alcohol bottles.

My eyes survey the area, floating to the homes with green patches of mold on the sides, a smell looms about in the community but before I could even make out the scent my window was rolled up. I peer over to my driver and my brows relaxed, there was something swirling in his eyes that I could not decipher, his body language remained rigid, but his hand tightened around the steering wheel.

It was no different than the people before only there were no sunhats and glasses, only women and children wearing torn clothing, hurdled around each other as the mingled with their neighbors. Men gathered on tables playing card games while grills were cooking with meat.

This is what they call the commoners ground, and it was here that Nasir grew up.

The Royal crest upon the cars were noticed, and like the elites everyone flocks to the vehicle, only they had more restraint and not cage me in, everyone remains at a safe distance, clapping at my arrival with genuine smiles and cheers, aligning in rows of two as we were guided to a safe parking.

As I acknowledged my people of the land, I also found myself in search for him.

Despite the years I have been told to let him go, a part of me sensed he was closer than I thought.