Beautiful Casualty

Chapter Eleven

The moment he opened the door, I knew this was going to end badly. I walked behind him into the living room and spotted a couple of syringes laying on the glass coffee table with a plain white lighter sitting next to them, along with a couple of spoons. Then, I looked a little to the right and spotted two baggies, one was definitely coke and the other was a darker color. I didn't know what it was, it could've been anything. My heart started pounding hard.

I took a deep breath and looked up at Ray with a fake smiled on my face.

You need to get away, Tess, you need to leave. This will only end badly for you, a little voice in my head told me.

"Um," I said. "Where's the bathroom?" I rubbed up and down on my arm, nervous.

"Last door down the hall," Ray said as he sat down on the couch, grabbing a pipe and started smoking whatever was in it. I walked quickly to the bathroom and locked the door behind me.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I saw tears cover my eyes. "This is it, Tess," I told my reflection. "This is the real test. If you can get through this, you can get through anything. If he offers you anything, deny it. Deny, deny, deny," I repeated. "Rehab won't help if you can't get through this. You can do it." I wiped the tears from my face and put on the realest smiled I could fake. Then, went back to the living room.

I found another man sitting on the couch beside Ray. Jesse.

"Hey," he said. "You Tess?" I nodded, he nodded back at me, looking me up and down, making me feel even more uncomfortable than I already was. "You gonna sit or you just gonna stand there like crazy person?" Oh, I was the crazy person? He's the one that looked like he would snap and kill someone at any given moment.

I made my way to the couch and sat down next to him--the only available seat in the room. Sitting closer to the man, I noticed the trail of tiny wounds along his tattooed arm--like Jake's. They were needle wounds from shooting up. My guess what that they were from heroin, because that's what he was doing at that very moment. But it could've been a number of things. I mean, he looked like he did a lot more drugs than what was on that table.

I watched as Ray took a full needle from Jesse and started sticking it into his arm, my heart pounding even harder than before.

I need to get out of here, I thought to myself. "Um, you now what? I should really be getting home. My friends are probably looking for me." I said. And in the midst of me standing up, Jesse grabbed my arm, stopping me.

"Sit your pretty ass right back down, you ain't goin' anywhere," he said. I turned around to face him. My heart skipped a beat when I realized he had the same expression Dave usually had.

"O-Okay." I sat right back down next to him. I looked over at Ray, he didn't care. That's when I realized I'd made the biggest mistake of my life thinking that he actually loved and cared for me, the drugs were the only thing he loved. But, for some reason, I couldn't help but still love him. "I really need to head back home, Jess," I told him. Much like Ray, he didn't care.

My body started to shake as I grew nervous. I looked around the room for something that might help me out of this situation. The meth pipe was something, but I need something bigger, deadlier. That's when I spotted a small vase full of random things. I could bust him over the head with it, maybe--hopefully--knock him out with it for a couple of minutes. The case wasn't too far from where I was sitting, I could definitely reach it. I slowly scooted towards it, hoping he wouldn't notice. I reaching for it, almost sure he'd batch me. Luckily, he didn't. I grabbed the vast and dumped it out right beside me. I sat it next to me, waiting for the right moment.

Then, I looked past Jesse at Ray. He had already passed out. I began hoping he hadn't OD'ed. Jesse was already refilling another needle. Something came over me and I began to crave some as well. I closed my eyes and tried to remember how to breathe. Inhale. Exhale. My heart was beating so loud I was sure Jesse could hear it. He turned to me and told me to give him my arm, holding the needle in his mouth. I obeyed and extended my arm for him to take. He tightened a belt around it, just about my elbow. "Hold that," he said. I listened. I knew exactly what was about to happen and I knew I shouldn't let it, but I was about to.