Beautiful Casualty

Chapter Ten

After dinner that night, Jake sat me down on the couch. He placed his hand on my knee and sighed, then folded his hands in his lap. He licked his lips. "She told me," I started to feel uncomfortable, I didn't want to talk about this with him--I didn't want to talk about this with anybody. "I understand why you didn't tell me," he swallowed. "I understand because I've been in the exact same situation you are." I furrowed my eyebrows and looked up at him in disbelief. He wasn't looking at me though, he was looking at his lap. "Tess, about three years ago, I started to hang out with the wrong crowd and I got introduced to meth and heroine. I was kicked out of my parents' house because my dad hated the way I was livin' my life and I wasn't willin' to change. I became addicted to the drugs and I started actin' up. I would do anything--and I mean anything--to get it. I would rob people, I even killed a man for it." He paused and took a deep breath as if trying to fight back tears.

"And I got time for that. A few month after I got out, I met this girl, Sandy. We'd do anything together. We'd rob together, we'd use together--fucking everything. I felt as though I loved her so much that I asked her to marry me and she said yeah. After that we used for the third time that day." He sighed. "Her heart stopped that night." He pointed at one of the tattoos on his arm. 6-23-13, the day she died. "You know, at first, I wasn't too worried about. Shit, it'd happened before--many times, actually. But I waited and waited and it never respawned. But I didn't learn my lesson, I kept usin'. I missed my dad's funeral because of it. Hell, I didn't even know he died 'til almost a year later. I decided then that I was gonna get clean. And it was hard to get clean--shit, it's still hard. But I've been clean for nearly ten months now." He looked at me. "Tess, this is gonna be hard. It's gonna be the hardest damn battle you've ever had to fight, but you've gotta keep trying. We believe in you and we're here to help you." He hugged me and kissed my forehead. I hugged him back with tears in my eyes.

"Jake," I said. "I have something I need to tell you." We separated and I leaned forward with my hands folded--much like he had."I don't really know why, but I feel like I can trust you." I swallowed. "You remember when you asked me where I was from? Well, like I said, I'm from a lot of different places. And I've stayed with a lot of different people. First, I was staying with my parents--my dad was a drunk and he was barely ever awake and my mom, well, she was--she--" I stopped and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Tess, you don't have to--"

"No," I interrupted. "I want to. You need to know the truth." I took a deep breath. "My mother was a prostitute. She was always with a different guy every night while my dad was in the next room. And she was abusive and I--I put up with it. I'd have bruises all over my body when I went to school and no one ever said anything about it. Once day, I decided I'd had enough and I ran away." I licked my lips and took a deep breath. My leg started to shake.

"Then, I met a woman that took me to this guy's house and I was introduced to cocaine. And I only ever did coke, except for a few pills here and there. A few weeks later, the man who owned the house....he um," I wiped tears from my eyes. My voice was beginning to break. "He--" I sniffed snot that was coming out of my nose back up. "He raped me. I ran away from there and I ended p in the hospital because I overdosed at some restaurant. They sent me to a mental hospital and me and one of the other girls there snuck out and she took me to her friend's house. I almost killed myself there and then I ran away again. I lived on the street for a month and in that month--" I remembered the guy I shot. "I did a lot of things I'm not too proud of. That's when I came to your work and now I'm here." I tried to smile at him, but couldn't.

"I--" he exhaled. "I mean, that's hard." I nodded. "But that's what brought you here and I'm proud it did." I was crying hard now. I hugged him and he hugged me back. I knew then that I could trust him with anything.