Homosexual ninja Thursday (ninjago)

Know what ur getting into/backstory

(Please don't sue me Ninjago, I'm gay and you guys love the gays so u can't sue me.)

Background so u know what's going on: The ninja aren't really ninjas in this. They live with their parents (unless said otherwise💀).  They are all around 19-23 years old.

This is completely satire and a joke. This is a wonderful story to read with friends when bored if you're a fan of ninjago. Each chapter kinda separates everything and are different stories but some will connect. I'm not hating on any characters unless I say so below. Here are the "AUs" in this lovely story and some background info:

Mailman Kai - We saw it in a video and Kai looked like a mailman, this doesn't really mean anything.

I'm sorry miss jackson Cole - the song miss jackson by Outkast, this is a very long story

Wake me up inside Lloyd - I made a purposeful crappy edit of Lloyd to this song

clouse aids au - Idek💀my friend came up with this, we call clouse freddy mercury bc they look alike and he has aids ig so my friend said that clouse has to have aids (we call chen jack sparrow and we have names for almost every character in the whole show) (btw clouse x chen💀💀)

Ronin is Gene's dad and is divorced from Cathy AU - Ronin looks like Gene (the evil genius kid from Lloyd's school in season 2) and Cathy (girl from Jay's gameshow in season 4) is Ronin's ex wife. (I don't remember how we even came up with this)

At the bar getting tipsy Kai - the song tipsy by shaboozy and Kai was drinking some form of alcohol in season 4 when he was in some underground fighting club (before chen's island)

Cole x Kai (or lava if u will) - I kinda ship it, they're pretty gay (don't get me wrong i still love kai x skylor)

I'm on a boat Jay - The song "I'm On A Boat" by The Lonely Island and T-Pain is amazing and Jay has a boat in season 6 so its perfect

Master wu is a p3d0phile - he's pretty creepy💀 (There will only be brief mentions of this, no actual interactions)

Garmadon is a tiktoker - he did some weird tiktok dance in season 7 flashback when they were getting rid of the time blades

Cole is gay af - this one is true, almost everyone agrees with it so ninjago creators, please make it canon

Lloyd is a swiftie - idk he has said many taylor swift lyrics

Harumi is a lesbian - We are harumi stans and we dislike Lloyd (he's annoying--we also love misako) Harumi never wanted Lloyd and tricked him so bad and she's a badass lesbian

Jay is a gameshow host named nutticus - the nutticus thing is a long story

Garmadon is Gordon Ramsey - their names sound alike and no one can beat garmadon's cooking skills (idk either💀)

Borg is Elon Musk - he makes crazy shit

Ray(Kai & Nya's dad) is literally Guy Fieri - garmadon(Gordon Ramsey) and Ray(Guy Fieri) will have the ultimate cookoff

Mystake is Mistake - it explains itself

Kataru is cocaine bear - watch the movie if u haven't

Prime Empire is Roblox - idk anymore💀

Skull sorcerer is the rizzard of oz

Murtessa(the munce queen or whatever) is queen Cheryl in disguise

Clutch powers is logan paul - if ykyk

Lloyd's favorite show is jersey shore but wont admit it and turns it off whenever someone goes in his room

Lloyd watched my little pony as a kid

jay tries to impress nya by walking on rails of bridges but then falls off

Zane talks with a text to speech voice and likes mozart - bc he's weird af and he's goofy ahh zane

I'll update this later as the story goes on