Losing His Fix

11

Roland's POV

The shop was unbearably hot. Sweat stung my eyes and I tried my best to wipe it away with my shoulder while my hands were busy trying to take out the old fuel pump that was for so reason covered in oil.

Rock music played softly in the background and Mary tapped her feet to it softly with a sad look in her eyes that I didn't think was for me for once.

I cursed loudly when I managed to get the fuel pump out but with the amount of oil covering it, I didn't have time to catch it before it fell to the ground. A huge crack now split the part in two. I had hopes of rebuilding it and using it later down the road to save money but if it was that frail maybe it was for the best that it broke.

"I think that's the first word you've said all day," Mary teased as I sat down beside her, taking my break early before I got in the middle of replacing the pump and couldn't step away.

I shrugged off Mary's comment and took a sip of water, not wanting her to find out it was the first word I had spoken since early yesterday after my session with Andrew.

"You know, Town Day is coming up," she said in an excited voice that I knew was going to turn sad when I declined whatever offer she was about to come up with. "You thinking about going this time?" I thought for a moment and forced my throat to work with me.

"Kit," I asked because it was all my throat would allow me to say. The quick flash of a frown was enough for me to know that she understood the question.

"You aren't allowed to connect with anyone from your past on Town Day. You know that I told you in the rule announcement last time." I frowned. I was hoping she had forgotten that rule.

I shook my head before taking another sip of water because holy fuck it was hot in here.

"I'm not trying to sway you one way or another but Andrew and I will both be gone looking after camper who do go so you won't be able to work in here. And if you change your mind and you decide you want to go I can put you in a group or you and I can go alone like we did last time."

I didn't want to be alone in town with Mary if Kit wasn't also with us. I shook my head again and she nodded.

A new song came through the radio and my heart clenched. It had been one of Kit's favorites. He would sing along to it every time it came on, starting out in a low whisper but as the song progressed he would always end up drowning out the song with his own voice.

Whenever he noticed I was watching he would start singing louder and off-key and I would laugh, knowing he was doing it just to act silly. When the song finally ended he would smile and shoot me a wink while I tried to not let my blush show.

My hand shot out and turned the radio off.

"Not in a music mood," Mary asked as I stood back up to get to work. I shook my head and she fell silent.

The longer I worked the more I wanted to just go home. Working on cars didn't feel the same without Kit. He had been annoying at first, sure but now that he was gone all I wanted was for him to be with me.

I wanted to go home. Not to the cabin because the cabin could never be home. I wanted my dad's house. I wanted my dad's shop. Even if Kit might not be with me when I get there, home sounded so much better than this place right now.

I sighed as I slid into the driver's seat and turned the key over. The car still didn't start and I felt like slamming my hand against the steering wheel, just to see if I could abuse it into working.

Home sounded perfect right now. If I were back in the shop Dad's ghost would be staring over my shoulder, planting ideas in my head on what could possibly be wrong with this stupid thing like he had done when he was alive.