Buried Time

CHAPTER 25

JAKE POV

"I'll be staying in Colville if you ever need me."

I only nodded to give him a response. I have no energy to speak anymore. All the talking I did to be aware of my own emotion and to received the treatment I need drains me.

I look at the three and small bottle of anti-psychotic drug he gave me.

I've never drink this.

I did tried when I had my first session with him. But I notice some side effects that I couldn't grasp.

It felt like things are getting worst. I often feel dizzy. I couldn't sleep. I see things that I shouldn't. The voices in my heads that keeps taunting me to do this and that are becoming more and more aggressive. And a lot more.

I wanted to tell him I want to skip drinking this medicine but he already mentioned before that it's a necessary step. So I try managing it by myself by faking to drink it.

He actually regulate the time I should drink by video calling me. I even need to open my mouth in order for him to see that I did swallow it. Then later spit it out after he hang up.

But then I guess I need to start drinking this from now on. Now that Kate is around.

I don't want to hurt her.

And If time comes I become impulsive of my behaviour.

Even it's an accident...

I grip the bottles tightly.

I can't forgive myself.

Eversince I found out that I'm mentally unstable. I realise a lot in my childhood.

I did a lot of things.

I thought it was only because I don't have any self restraint but to think it's already because of something more...

My worst victim is a child close to my age.

I was five when my mom notice that I never spoke to a lot of people but it didn’t really concern her that much thinking that I'm young and must be shy. Until I was around eight. Before I went to an actual school, my mom first had me do homeschooling that our neighbors suggested.

This neighbor’s had a ten about to turn eleven years old boy.

I can't say we're friend. But in his and our parents eyes' we became friends.

It's annoying. But I gave it a shot to stop my mom from insisting I had social interaction since like I said I HAD NO FRIENDS.

I don't even understand why it bothers her that much.

She herself is aware that kids my age was too afraid to come and interact with me, due to the fear that I'm different from them.

It was known in our village that I have a high aptitude in extensive learning. But my specialty is computer science.

I was even called freak.

Anyway that boy and I began hanging out. We played games mainly video games. I did thought he was cool, that was until a month later.

Its not a serious issue. I only got bored.

I told my mom I don't want to see him anymore. At first she was against it, but my mother doesn't really forced me into things I don't want. So she allowed it.

But that boy seems to like my company. I understand since he's been homeschooled his whole life. And that both of us have no friends. However, I'm also a person who doesn't stick for long if I don't want it anymore.