Life Unknown

Chapter 10

I awoke at 2:48AM to a crying baby for the third time that night. This all seemed so easy in the day when we were awake and functioning. Now that it was night and I was trying to get some sleep after an exhaustive day, it was not so easy. I had never in my life wanted sleep more than I did right now. Damian had gotten up last time to change the diaper and get her the bottle. Breast feeding hurt to much for me to handle right now so the nurse gave me a pump and that way the baby still got the nutrients and it was a lot cheaper.

So since he got up last it was my turn. I got her out of his crib and placed her on my bed to change her diaper. I was so tired I put it on backwards, and had to re do the whole thing.  I sat on the bed with my innocent baby below me with a now strait diaper, having a fit for her bottle.  I put her in her crib and made my way back to the kitchen to heat up a bottle.  As I passed through the living room and the uncomfortable couch I was dragging. 

By the time I got back to the bedroom, and gave Emily her bottle she was happily drinking it down, and I was crying. I never thought my child would be so much work.  In a week I was ganna have to take two home and do this all by myself, well Damien and me. I wish that I could just get some sleep. I needed it so much. As I was silently crying over little Emily, Damian noticed something was not right an woke up to tend to me.

"Babe, it's my turn go back to sleep" I said with tears pouring down my face.

"No way give me Emily, you lay down and get some rest."

He took Emily from my arms and held her tightly with one arm and pushed me down with the other.

"Thank you Damian, I don't know what I would do without you."

"Don't worry about it babe, you just lie down and get some rest, I will get her for the rest of the night."

He was such a great guy and before I knew it I was soundly back asleep dreaming of the day we signed the girl's birth certificates.

"Harper wake up its time to do the birth certificates."

"What so soon."

"Yes, hello Harper I am a social worker, and will be taking care of the twins birth certificates. We have to have you sign all the papers, because you two are not married, or I wouldn't have woke you.

"It's fine lets get started."

"Okay, I will need you to fill out this paper work with your name and the fathers name and what you are naming the twins."

I got to work filling out the paper work and stopped when I got to the girl's last name.

"Damian, I think I want them to have your last name, it's fine if you don't since we aren't married, but it will be better for them."

"That would make me happy babe I was hoping that you would want them to have my name."

"Good so Emily Rose Daniels and Hope Marie Daniels. It's beautiful."

"Good now you sign here and Mr. Daniels I presume....You sign here. This paper is stating that you are the mother and father of these children."

After she left we sat there and I drifted into a semi sleep. As soon as I was relaxed really good Damian started talking shocking me back to life.

"I think that you pic- oh babe I am sorry go back to sleep"

"No go ahead what did you want to say."

"I think you picked out the perfect names for our girls, how did you do that?"

"Well I looked at them and the names just came to me I don't know how they just did."

"I think its great now rest up you, Emily, and I get to leave later today."

Its wierd I remember that day so well I knew Damian loved the girls and loved me and we were all going to be happy together.  I wish I still had that mean nurse to help me though.  I wonder if they allow overnight guest in the hospital.  I was basically there all the time now anyway. When we were discharged Hope didn't get to leave with us.  For the first few weeks at home I had horrible nightmares that the nurse had become her mother and didn't she didn't even know me anymore.

Damian was always there when  I needed him. He was constantly checking on her while we were in the Hospital.  Sometimes I would wake up and he would be gone.  Since we had been home my mom kept Emily in the day for us so we could go see Hope.  It gave her grandma time and us time to go to the hospital.

Today was the day that Hope has surgery to clear the blockage.  It hadn't taken care of its self like the doctors hoped it would, so now they had to cut my baby open to remove it.  I was so scared we got to the hospital early so that we could be there when they first started.

It was five in the morning when they started and it took till about ten.  I eventually cried myself into exhaustion and fell asleep in the waiting area.  Damian shook me when surgery was over and the recovery time had passed.  We hurried to the NICU and was surprised to see some of her machines gone.

"They got to take some if the machines off her because her blockage was cleared in surgery earlier."

"I can see. Did they say when her projected release date was?"

"Yeah about a week to two weeks depending on healing rate and weight gain she still has to be over five pounds before they release her."

That thought scared me. What if someone got attached to her.  I thought back to the dreams I had been having while at home with Emily.

"The hospital can't keep her can they?"

"No, we will get her home. She just needs to gain a little weight and heal a bit."

"Okay looks like mom is going to have a nice couple weeks with Emily all to herself."

"Yep, you know your mom would want to."

I knew she would be delighted to keep her for any amount of time, but I was still sad that it would be two more weeks before I had my family together at last.  I simply nodded and we stood over her for an hour or so talking about her and her sister. Finally a nurse came in and was fussing at us.

"Okay you two the nursery is about to close, time to go home.  Give love to the baby and lets get moving."

We laughed and followed the nurse down the hall, Damian partially pushing me I didn't want to leave at all. We signed the last bit of release papers so they could take care of her if something happened and we were about to walk out the door.  Before we left we went back to the NICU to say bye to her and tell her we would be back first thing in the morning. We once again got yelled at by the nurse, but I didn't care. I couldn't believe I was about to leave without my my baby again. It was always hard when I left her.  We walked out to the car and I cried again when I looked back and saw Hope's empty car seat.  She should be in it now coming home to her sister and her parents, but instead she was stuck at the hospital without any of us.

We finally made it home, got in the house, and put Emily in her crib. The other empty crib sent me over and I was in hysterics. Damian came up and wrapped his strong arms around me and made me feel like the safest person in the world. He reassured me everything would be alright and after I cried all I could, he went to make dinner and clean up.

I was sad but after dinner was done and we were giving Emily her first bath before bed time if felt right and I was once again reassured that Hope would be okay. Pumping was work and I was doing overtime to keep up with Emily but finally I got enough for the night and pre-fixed her bottles so that we wouldn't have to wonder around in our kitchen looking for bottles. Everything was perfect and I laid down next to Damian in bed and drifted into the most peaceful sleep ever. Only to be awoken two hours later by a cry saying I am hungry and wet. Oh the joys of motherhood.