it's bin a moth since Riley and angel passed, the viewing was closed casket and the burial was more than a week ago
Mia hasn't bin to work which is undesirable but what's weird is she no longer answers my texts or calls and when she does she tells me she's busy, I try to go to her apartment but she doesn't open the door
"Lani" I knocked on her door "Mia'Kallani please open the door" I sigh
No answer
"I need to talk to you, please"
A couple seconds later the door opened
"What's going on?" I enter her apartment "why haven't you bin answering baby?" I sigh following her to the couch
"Busy" she shrugged
"Mama. Please talk to me" i say with concern
"About?" She said bluntly seeming bothered
"What's going on" I reach for her hand out she pulled it away
Did I do something wrong?
"Billie I really don't have time for this" she stood up
"What do you mean?" I did the same
"I don't- I can't do this" she sighed looking down
"Do want Mia?" I was confused
"Anything! Work, this, us!" She pointed at the both of us
"What do you mean" my face dropped
"I- I can't get hurt anymore" she shook her head "I can't let that happen"
"I'm not going to hurt you lani" I step closer to her but she stepped back
"I can't loose anyone else" she shook her head "I don't have anyone else"
"You have me"I said intently
"I don't want to" her voice got shaky
"What?"
"I Don't want to lose you" she wrapped her arms around her stomach
"I'm right here baby,I'm not going anywhere" I say softly as I started to understand what she meant
"No. I can't let that happen anymore I- I don't want to I can't. I'm done" she shook her head "I lost the only 2 people who cared about me-"
"I care about you" i got serious
"Exactly! I cant do that to myself anymore!" she yelled
"So what? Your just not going to let yourself get close to anyone ever again?" I narrowed my eyebrows
"Yeah, pretty much" she shrugged
"Lani, you can't do that" I shook my head
"Why not? I've lost too many people in my life and I can't let you be one of them" she sniffed
"I'm going to be one of them if you do this"
"But it won't hurt as much" she shook her head
"As much as what?"
"When you leave later"
"I won't."
"You don't know that. No one knows that! You can be taken from this world in a heartbeat" tears filled her eyes
"Lani this is not ok. You can't stop yourself from falling in love just because your scared of losing them. Thats not how it works" I shake my head
"It's better for the both of us this way"
"No it's not"
"Billie please just go" she sighed
"No"
"Go! Leave!"
"No!"
"I can't lose you! I love you too much Billie please just leave!" She cried
"No! I'm not leaving just cuz your scared of losing me! I get that your hurt, and grieving but I'm not going to let you do this" I shake my head
"I can't lose the love of my life Billie go!"
Love of her life?
"No" I shrug "no I'm not leaving you, I don't care if you hate me for it, I'm not"
"Please" she cried
"I love you" I hugged her
"No! Stop" she tried to push me away but I healed her
"I love you ok? I love you so much" i say softly
"No!" She sobbed falling agents me "please stop no" she cried into my chest
"Your the love of my life Mia'Kallani" I hold her tightly
"Stop saying that" she cried
"It's true"
"I- i cant. I'm scared" she shook her head
"I know. I know you are.and I'm scared too. I'm so scared of losing you. But having you In my life right now is worth that risk" i rub her back
"Im tired of getting hurt" she cried
"I know you are. I know baby. Im so sorry that this happened to you, I wish it didn't. I know your exhausted but you can't stop it forever. I promise you I won't leave you. I'll do anything in my power to keep that from happening you hear me?" I pull her chin up
"I'm sorry" she shook her head "I can't" she cried
"Look at me. Yes you can" I nod
She shook her head
"Look into my eyes and tell me you can't. Then I'll go, I'll go and I won't bother you again"
"Billie stop"
"No. Look at me and tell me" I hold her face "tell me you don't love me"
"I can't" she cried
"So let it happen. Let yourself love" I sigh
"But your the only person I have left" she cried
"Don't say that baby" I shake my head tears now leaving my eyes
"I don't want to lose you. Cuz then I'll have nothing" she cried
"Im not going anywhere" I sniff
"Can you promise me something?" She looked into my eyes
"Anything"
"If you want to leave do it. I don't want you to stay just cuz you fell bad ok?"
"I'll never want to leave you" I shook my head
"Please just promise"
"I promise" I kissed her head
"I'm sorry, I know I'm being dramatic-"
"No no no.your not. You are not being dramatic baby. Don't ever apologize for your emotions again you hear me? Your going through more than I could even imagine right now. So I get that your scared. But that's why I'm here. I'm here to help you get through it cuz i would never want you to feel like this alone ok?"i healed her face
"Ok" she nodded with a sniff as I whipped her tears "I love you. Thank you"
"I love you too baby. Anything for you" I Kiss her head "Don't scare me like that again" I sigh with a small laugh
"I'm sorry" she giggled
"If you ever feel like this again tell me yeah?"
"Yeah." She nodded
"Can I kiss you?" I rub her cheek
"Of course" she nodded before I leaned in
The kiss was soft but love filled. But it was also full of sadness and anxiety. God i missed her so much. I love her so fucking much
YOU ARE READING
Inked up |billie eilish
FanficBillie Eilish. The owner of a tattoo company, tough and always in a bad mood. But she seems to go soft for her head designer Mia.
