𝐂𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐃

THREE.

PAST (when Y/n and Juwon were eleven)

—

"The singing teacher says I'm improving," Juwon told Y/n as he mindlessly kicked a pebble across the road, "that's good, right?"

"It is."

Perhaps that had been the first spark. The first ever...flame of jealousy Y/n felt. Jealousy was a queer, strange feeling that he was quite sure he didn't like: it seemed to swallow his insides and burrow a hollow emptiness in his ribs.

"My mother was happy. It was one of the first times I saw her laugh—she ruffled my hair and told me I was finally making her proud, how my talent stemmed from genetics—Y/n, are you okay?"

Y/n blinked.

At one point, he had zoned out. Blush coated his cheeks as he looked apologetically at his friend, feeling a sense of remorse wash over him.

"I am," He said at last, plastering a smile on his face, "that's...great! I'm happy for you, Juwon."

Y/n was worried—about himself. Though his singing was good, he seemed to have hit a stagnant point. Meanwhile, Juwon, who didn't even want to sing, was already accelerating in front of him.

Juwon squeezed his hand.

"We'll share the world stage together like you said, Y/n," He assured softly, "don't worry about it."

Y/n tried his best to smile, but it felt slippery.

"Right."

—

PRESENT

The news had yet to be announced to the public yet, and Y/n was relieved. He would have to monitor the situation when it did happen though: he was already ready to be bombarded with hate messages. Y/n could imagine it in his mind, those cruel headlines that had relentlessly plagued him: discarded member clings on to glory.

He was surrounded by his dream.

(A lost, forgotten dream.)

But like a foolish, stubborn, petulant child, he refused to let go.

"Jun's coming back from his solo promotions soon," Juwon informed Y/n, "you haven't seen him for quite long, have you?"

Ah, Jun. Maybe one of his favorite members. He seemed...the most real to him, somehow. Most people in the show upholded some saintly image that was usually fake, while Jun, with all witty remarks and smirks, had seemed like a godsend to him. But Y/n wasn't sure if their relationship would turn turbulent soon, as Y/n had been ignoring every single one of their messages..

"I haven't seen any of you for very long," Y/n corrected, "why?"

There was a defensive, slightly jealous edge to Juwon's tone. Y/n was instantly wary of it. He was treading on dangerous waters.

"No," Juwon said carelessly, "I just had a feeling some bastard might try to lay hands on you the minute he had the chance."

His tone was venomous, and Y/n was appalled by it. Weren't the members supposed to get along with each other? Why was there such animosity between the two?

...Come to think of it, even in the show, the two shared a very forced relationship.

"It's not fair to make assumptions like that," Y/n tried to diffuse the palpable tension in the conversation—"give him a chance. I know you two never got along, but you are a group now, try to be more..."

What could Y/n even say?

How could he, the inexperienced, be capable of giving out instructions?