I Can Love You More Than This [Ziam Fanfic]

Chapter 4: 200 Apologies

I refused to go to the afternoon interview no matter how many times Paul begged me to shower, get dressed and meet them downstairs, I couldn’t bring myself to face Liam. I wasn’t sure how I was going to even be in this group anymore when just the sight of him would have me crying buckets.

It was only the second day in Las Vegas and already it felt like eons. I wanted to go back home to Bradford. To my family.

My mother especially, who would understand my pain, without needed answers, and hugging me until all the feelings coursing through my veins were drained, and I was back to normal.

But could I be normal after this? 

After my first boyfriend cheated on me?

The only person in the world who I planned to spend the rest of my life with me, was nothing more but a mistake? 

There was not much I could do but lie in bed. I had chain smoked the three packs of cigarettes in one sitting and felt the hoarse air in my lungs. The smell of nicotine was still on my fingers, on my tongue and on my clothes.

I reveled in the smoke of death. 

I texted Niall, asking if he could pick up a carton from the mart and I’d pay him back as soon as he got back upstairs.First, he texted me a sad face but when I didn’t respond, he called, asked if I was okay and promised to grab me the carton, no charge. 

I was eternally grateful to have such good friends. Brothers. 

While waiting for Niall, I stared at the wall in a daze until sleep finally consumed me. 

When I woke up, my head was in Louis’s lap, and Harry and Niall were near the foot of the bed.

I stared up into Louis’s eyes and gave him a weak smile. He continued to stroke my hair with both hands. 

“How’d you sleep?” he asked, smiling back. “We all chipped in to buy your cancer sticks. Don’t thank us. That’s like five hours of wasted life right there.”

“I’ll take my chances,” I said. “How was the interview?”

“Alright,” Louis said. “You know, the normal questions. ‘What’s new with the band? What kind of music are we expecting next month? Who’s Larry Sylinson?’ It all gets a bit boring answering the same questions all the time.” He looked to Harry. “I’m just waiting for one of the fans to ask who tops and bottoms in the band. That’ll be a laugh. Not what anyone will expect.”

“I’ve roomed next to you before,” I said. “Clearly, Harry’s the top."

“Wrong, mate.”

I chuckled. “You? I wouldn’t have guessed.”

“Two strikes,” gleamed Louis. 

“It’s a fifty-fifty chance Louis. It’s either you or Harry. Unless you both have an imaginary friend that sneaks throughout the hotel.”

Louis grinned, slyly. “We do. It’s Niall.”

“Say what?” mumbled Niall, looking at Harry then to Louis. “Stop joshing the poor lad. Zayn, they’re completely mental. I haven’t even had sex with them before.”

“But you want to.”

Niall blushed, automatically denying.

“Your charm doesn’t work on me, Tommo. I’m going to be the only one in the world who isn’t going to fall for your snarky charm or your bluntness so you can count me out.”

“Let the thought simmer a little bit and then let me know,” said Louis, still stroking my quiff back. It was nice and reminded me of when my mother would do the same to me and my sisters.