I Can Love You More Than This [Ziam Fanfic]

Chapter 5: This Bed Will Be My Coffin

I can’t comprehend words, I can’t see anything further than my nose from all the swelling, and I can’t move a single inch if I wanted to. When Niall came into my bedroom, saying that the pizza was here, he caught me rolling in what looked like blood. In actuality, it was Louis’s devil’s drink I had consumed the other night, and now it stained my sheets. I didn’t complain when Niall screamed for the other boys, or that he carried me into the shower, or that he made it his personal duty to strip me naked and sponge me down in the bathtub. I just looked passed him. Passed the thick, white walls, the neon lights of Sin City, passed the gray clouds, passed space and time itself. Until, I stared at nothing. My face became a blank canvas. 

When Niall had finished showering me, he toweled me off, dressed me and laid me back into bed. Louis had changed the bedsheets while we were away; then, I could smell the pizza in the room when Harry brought in my plate, but I refused to eat it. 

I was just like Liam. A promise breaker. 

I wanted to apologize to Niall for lying to him, but no viable words escaped my lips. He cradled me into his side, and wiped away my messy hair from my forehead. 

“Oh, Zayn,” he said, softly. “What are we going to do with you? How are we going to make you normal, again.”

“You can’t,” my voice, hoarse, dry. “I’m nothing without him, Ni. Liam’s my life, and without him, I shall die.”

“Then, why don’t you hear what he has to say?” asked Niall, looking down into my eyes. “Maybe it’s not what you expect?”

I shook my head. 

“Because . . . he already made his choice. He chose to lie to me about Danielle. To play me like I was a game. He can win the round.” I scoffed. “Hell, he can win the match. I’m done. Just let me wither away.”

A tear fell on my cheek. I looked up, and saw Niall crying. He tried holding it back, but his face turned red, and his eyes had grown a leak. 

“Z-Z-Zayn,” he cried. “Don’t s-s-say t-that.”

Great. I was the asshole now. I didn’t want to be. 

I grabbed Niall’s head in my hands, and pulled him down, planting a warm kiss on his cheek. “I’m sorry, Niall. I’m just being stupid.”

“Never say that kind of stuff, again. Alright? The last thing I want to do is lose members of my family.”

I glanced into his blue seas. “I’m sorry,” I apologized, again. “Just, sleep with me tonight, yeah I don’t think I can be able to sleep by myself tonight. And it looks like neither can you.”

Niall sobbed, but nodded. He lifted the covers over the both of us, and pulled me against his chest. He was warm. His arm was strong around my stomach. 

It reminded me just like ---.

I squeezed my eyes shut, using all my strength not to vomit anymore. 

A while later, I could hear Niall snoring from behind me. I smiled, a feeling of comfort rushing through me as I joined him in slumber. 

Niall’s arm was still around me when I woke up. It was tighter. More protecting. He had stayed with me all night, and I smiled. 

I could feel the top of my shoulders glistening of sweat? I wasn’t sure because I was still shivering, and it looked like it was still nighttime outside, but I felt as if I had slept the entire day.  

I arch into the touch. Feeling different. 

Did Niall pop more muscles in his sleep? Get a little thicker, longer against my body?