Chapter 10 - It's my fault.

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(You're POV, 4 months later)

"Ice pop, (Y/N)?" Gray asked as we walked through the doors after completing a job.

"Always!" I smile as we head over to Mira. Before we say a word she is already handing us one blue and one purple ice pop. We take them outside and sit on a bench nearby. "That was one weird job." I mention. Gray nods in agreement because he has the ice pop shoved in his mouth. I laugh.

Things have been very weird without Lisanna. I told her every secret I've ever had and confided in her for advice on anything and everything and I don't have anyone for that anymore. I try with Gray, but it's just not the same. Nothing ever will be. She was more than a best friend to me. I still wish I could have told her that.

As if reading my mind Gray says, "I know you've been thinking about her a lot lately. Are you okay? Do you wanna talk about it? I keep hesitating bringing it up cause I don't want to remind you of you aren't thinking about it, but I just wanna make sure everything's alright." He says a bit sheepishly.

I give him a little half smile, which we both know is fake, and respond, "I'll never get over it and I've made peace with that. I don't want to because then it will seem like she didn't mean that much. And she did. She meant everything to me. I'll never forget what's she's done for me, and with that comes the pain of not being able to do anything for her in return ever again."

"You don't have to be sad every time you think about her. I know it feels like that. But if you think about it, she wouldn't want you to remember her like that anyways. She'd want you to remember every moment before her death. How happy she made you, and how happy you made her. You were important to each other and you should cherish that, but you don't have to feel like she died over and over again every time you think about her."

"Is that how you deal with the loss of your parents?" I ask and immediately we both looked shocked; Me because I can't believe I let myself say that out loud and Gray because we don't ask each other those kinds of questions. After a moment he responds,

"Actually, yeah, I guess it is. And Ur too. I guess I'm a bit of a hypocrite though because it doesn't work every time. But it does help. Trying not to be sad that they're gone but happy because they were apart of your life at some point. It doesn't make it all go away, but it does make the pill every morning a little easier to swallow."

I finish my ice pop and we stand up. We walk back into the guildhall without saying another word.

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(3rd POV)

"These guys are serious. I took out the one inside of the building. Natsu and Happy handled a few others surrounding the building. How have you and (Y/N) done Gray? Has the area been cleared?" Erza asked.

"I'm pretty sure I got all of the guys in the woods behind us. And I thought (Y/N) was with you guys. She isn't?" He asks, raising an eyebrow. Natsu and happy shook their heads.
The 4 of them looked up to see if they could see any clouds of dirt in the area. Nothing.

"She can't be far, it hasn't been that long." Natsu reassures.

"Let's split up. We'll find her faster that way. If she is still in battle she may need assistance. Be prepared." Erza warned before they each ran in different directions.

Gray ran down a pathway through the woods in search of (Y/N). He wasn't particularly worried about (Y/N's) safety, he knows he can hold her own in a battle. But so could Ur. You can never be too sure, even if you are fully convinced of a persons capabilities. He continued down the path until he found one of their enemy's lying face down on the ground with broken pieces of rock surrounding him.

"She must be around here somewhere." Gray realized. "(Y/N)!! (Y/N) where are you??" He shouted into the woods. There was no response. He continued down the path, looking to his left and then to his right and back to his left the entire time. After a few more minutes of travel, as he looks to his left he saw a faint (H/C) lock of hair swish in the wind from behind a tree, and in moments it is tucked away.

"I'd know that hair any day." He said as he began walking towards the tree. As he approached, he heard short, sharp breathes and walked to the other side of the tree, revealing (Y/N) curled up; knees to chest, forehead to knees. "(Y/N)!? What happened?? Are you alright?" Gray asked frantically ask he knelt down next to her. (Y/N) looked up at him, tears covering her face.

Obviously distraught, (Y/N) responded, "I heard her Gray." His face flashed with shock and realization at the same time. "I don't know who I was up against or what kind of magic she uses, but I heard her Gray. Like really heard her. It sounded like she was standing directly behind me." Grays face sunk.

"What did she say..?" He asked cautiously.

"It's your fault I'm dead." She said as she dug her face back into her knees and let out a sob. Quickly and swiftly Gray pulled her into a hug and she collapsed into him. "It's all my fault Gray. I should never have left her."

"(Y/N). Whatever kind of magic she used, it's not supposed to help you or make you feel better. It's supposed to hurt you so you're easier to defeat. That's what people do in battle. Lisanna would have never said that to you. Because it isn't true. It hurts knowing you think that. I can't imagine what that feels like. She was feeding off of your pain, it was not a message from the dead. (Y/N). It's not your fault."

Her heart skipped a beat when he said that. Lisanna is dead and maybe she would feel that way if she were alive, but she isn't. Gray is. And he doesn't believe for a second that it's her fault. For now this will have to be enough. (Y/N) will have to accept the fact, even if the last thing she wants to do is believe it, that there's nothing she could have done regardless of her location.

She took a deep breath and dried her tears. But she didn't move away from Gray. He didn't move away from her. And it stayed that way for longer than either of them would care to admit, but at that moment, it didn't matter what anybody else thought. Because (Y/N) felt safe and found the slightest bit of peace at last. And because Gray will do anything to keep it that way.

Guys did they eat or did they eattttt!? I think they ate 🫣

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