We're Still Human

Chapter 23: 3am Walks and Talks with The Enemy

I shoot the ball into the hoop once more, watching it go in smoothly. It's 3 in the morning, and in times where I feel like I can't sleep, I sneak out of bed and go down to the courts to play ball. I've alerted the matron before of me doing this, and she has no problem with it(as long as I come back eventually). Tonight, my mind is a storm that can not be tamed by mere sleep; it's one that can be stopped with action.

Basketball.

I dribble a little bit, shooting a three-pointer. I sigh, running to get the ball again. I freeze as a low whistle hits, footsteps fast approaching me.

I turn around, and my breathing relaxes as it's just Nadia.

She stands there, her own basketball in hand. "Can I join?"

"Only if you're okay with losing a friendly game," I say to her, running to get my ball.

Nadia chuckles. "I'm surprised you aren't telling me to fuck off."

"It's too late in the evening to do that, I'd rather just listen to your bullshit until it gets too much for me," I explain. "I've learnt that's probably how I should be dealing with you from now on."

"The hate runs that deep?"

I sigh. "What do you want, Nadia?"

Nadia shrugs. "To talk. I just want to talk."

"Is that it?"

"Yeah, I think that's it."

I put the ball down. "That's funny; usually, this comes with some rhetoric like you're going to destroy me or whatever. You know the usual like hating game."

"Do you really think I hate you?" Nadia asks me.

"Do you really think I hate you?" I ask her back.

She remains silent before throwing the ball my way. "One on one, Yasmina. For old time's sake."

I throw the ball back to her. "What's in it for me?"

"I don't know, clarity, perhaps?" She whistles, dribbling lightly. "You'll never know until you try."

Accepting her challenge, I guard her as she tried to make a run for it, the ball being held firmly in her arms. I grab the ball as well, and we struggle for it, with me ending up on the floor as she yanks it away from me to shoot a three-pointer. I sigh, getting up as she throws the ball at me.

"You're a bit rusty," she comments.

"It's 3AM. Who wouldn't be rusty?" I groan, dodging her as she sprints for me.

She tries to block my shot, but I get a rebound, shooting directly into the basket. She tried to grab the ball but I block her, hitting the ball as far from her as possible. She stares at the ball that leaves the court, before looking at me.

"I heard about you and your mom," she begins.

I scoff. "I'll see you later." I attempt to leave, but she grabs my hand. "If she sent you, I—"

"She didn't send me, Yasmina, I've known about this for weeks," she explains. "She tried to get me to talk to you before, but this time it's me; I'm just checking to see if you're alright."

I yank my hand away from her, turning on my heel and making my way back to the hostel. "I'm fine."

"We both know you're not, and I know that—"

I turn around and point at her. "You don't know shit about me, Nadia. You don't fucking know a thing."

Nadia sighs. "I may not be the best person to tell you this, but your mom loves you, alright? She doesn't know what you're going through—"

"And neither do you, so why don't you take your opinion over my goddamn life and shove it up your flaming fat ass."

Nadia rolls her eyes. "At least you think my ass is fat."

"Goodnight, Nadia," I scoff, leaving again. She holds my arm again. "Oh my God, you're getting on my last nerve."

"Yasmina—"

"I'm glad you've finally learned my name," I comment.

She rolls her eyes. "Can you just let me care about you for once? Why is that so hard for you?"

I shake my head in disbelief. "Why do you care now? If anything you have more of a reason to compete for the scholarship harder than I have."

Nadia sighs. "This isn't about the scholarship. This is about making sure you're okay."

"Since when have you cared about that?" I ask her. "All you've done since you got here is make sure that I'm reminded that you and I have a shared past, one that I'm not proud of. All you've done is show me that you truly do not care about me or my feelings. So tell me why the fuck do you care now?"

She looks away from me for a moment, biting her lip. "I never meant for things to go the way they have between us."

"They did, though." I look her up and down. "And I will never forgive you for what you've done to me. Ever."

"I don't believe you, Yasmina," she says.

"And why not?"

"Because you're still here," she explains. "If you really meant it, then you wouldn't be entertaining my bullshit. So tell me, why do you keep letting this happen?"

She got me there.

I've said that I wanted to stay true to myself and figure out who I am, and if there's anything I know, it is that I'm not one to hold a grudge for long. But God, oh God, does Nadia bring me to a place of no return. Part of me wants to talk things out, but the other side of me just isn't ready to let it go.

That's what I'm currently struggling to do when it comes to her; to let go.

"Goodnight, Nadia," I repeat for the last time, finally turning around and walking away.

"Just know that even though you and I aren't on the best of terms, I do hope you're okay," she yells across the court, and I stop, a tear slipping. "If there's one thing you can trust, is that I have your back when you need it, always."

I wait for her to say something else, and when I hear the ball fall back from the air, I take the initiative to finally go back to the hostel, my thoughts in disarray after my talk with Nadia.