We're Still Human

Chapter 26: I Wish This Shit Was Easier

My future. What do I want it to look like?

I leave Coach's office after contemplating hard on her question: Do I even know what I want for myself in the long run? Do I want to be an athlete? A pianist? What do I want in life, and what morals do I want to take along with me?

I turn a corner and stand straight in my spot as Nadia blows her gum obnoxiously. She glances over at me, waving.

"Shouldn't you be in prep?" I ask.

"Your girlfriend told me to go fetch you. She's worried about you,"Nadia states, walking towards me.

"In what world would Kendall ask you to do anything for me?"

"In a world of which I check on you and make sure you're fine?" She crosses her arms. I squint at her, a sigh erupting from her. "I was eavesdropping on your conversation, Kendall doesn't know I'm here."

"You're going to get punished, you know."

Nadia nudges me. "Not if she knows I was with you."

"And then you're going to get me punished," I joke around, walking to the hostel with her.

"Kinky, love that for you."

We laugh as we turn another corner, and as I begin to speed up, Nadia grabs my arm, causing us to stop.

"Nadia?"

She sighs. "Look, I know how hard it is for you to talk about what happened, but can you at least tell me if there will ever be a chance for you and I to be friends again?"

I stare at her in confusion. "Just a few months ago, you were hellbent on making my life l the sudden change?"

"Because it's not easy...it's not easy hating someone that I so desperately want in my life. You and I were best friends, Notha—"

"Yasmina," I correct her. "My name is Yasmina."

Nadia double takes, but goes on nonetheless. "We were best friends, and what I did was the shittiest thing anyone had ever done to someone, and you didn't deserve that."

"Then why? Why did you do it?"

"Because I—"

"My girlfriend and her ex friend, what are the odds?"

I turn around to see Kendall standing there, arms crossed. The only difference between her appearance last time and her now is that she seems to be mad at Nadia, and not me.

"You always have the best timing." Nadia smirks.

Kendall walks over to us, her arm around my waist. "I'm sorry I cut your pity party so short, I missed my girlfriend." She kisses my cheek. "Well, what are you waiting for? Go on, say what you want to say to Yasmina."

Nadia looks at me, then back at Kendall. Her eyebrows drop, and I immediately become wary of what she might do next.

"You know what, I have something for you instead, Kendall," Nadia starts. "Do you want to know all the tea behind Yasmina and I? Why we fell out?"

I shake my head, fearing the worst. "Khume, please."

"I already know it." Kendall grins.

Nadia's gaze on her is fierce; determined, almost. "Yasmina told me she was bisexual, I was the very first person to find out. When she told me this, I panicked, and out of fear I spread lies to the whole school and led her to Yahya, paying the poor girl to kiss Yasmina."

I gape at her. "What?"

Nadia ignores me, her eyes fixed on Kendall. "It was fucked, I promise you I was the worst person in the world. What really happened after, was that Yahya told Yasmina's mom, who already had suspicions that—"

"What about Lerumo, Nadia?" I take a step closer to her. "Don't forget her."

Nadia sighs. "Do I have to admit it in front of your girlfriend?"

"You already admitted everything else, so why not?" Kendall answers for me, standing by my side.

"Fine." Nadia rolls her eyes. "You got close with her and...I got jealous."

"Of what?"

"Of how close you two were! It's almost as if..."

"Nadia Khumalo, did you like me?" I whisper.

"Oh for fucks sake, of course not." Nadia groans. "Must everyone like you?"

Sensing the tension, Kendall holds my hand. "If you two want to have this conversation alone, I get it. However if you do happen to make my girlfriend uncomfortable, I swear to God I'll make sure the rest of your senior year is a living hell, you got that, kid?"

Nadia shakes her head, chuckling. "You know, one thing I like about you is how you protect Yasmina. She can protect herself."

"Good thing is that she doesn't have to, unlike some people," Kennie retorts. "I'm watching you."

With that, Kennie leaves.

Nadia laughs a bit. "You've got yourself a good girl, I promise you that."

"Nadia," I say. "This isn't how apologies work."

"I do want to apologize, it's just thatvyour girlfriend hates me for no reason—"

"You always find a way to fuck her over and you think she likes that?" I interrupt her. "Look, I know we put aside our differences for the better of the game but...I don't know if I have the ability to forgive you yet. It was a lot that you did that I can't get over right now."

She nods. "Will there be a chance of that in the future? Can we maybe talk about it?"

I examine Nadia's face for any form of hate, but instead, all I see is contempt and fear. Contempt of what was, and what could've been if she didn't do what she did to me.

"Will talking change anything?" I whisper.

"It might not change the past, but I do think it'll help us in the future," She answers. "I'm not the same person I was, Yas, everything I do now has a reason, and I hope you see that."

She walks away, and I somehow struggle with the concept that everything she, in fact, does do may have a deeper reason behind it. Maybe the reason Coach wants me to think about my future stems from who I really want in it, whether they're in my active present, or in the past.

And maybe that means opening up a door to the idea of what could be between Nadia and I.