Ones Love Can Be So Strong Between Two People (A Rammstein Love Story)

Chapter 74- Loss/What's Wrong My Love

(2 Day's Later)

(Maisie's POV)

So I'm alive which I'm extremely lucky for; I survived a 90 ft drop by slipping out of my harness, unfortunately my heart has sustained the most severe strain and I have never experienced heart pain like I did when I fell. 

It's taken over 48 hours to stable me enough in order to wake me up and I'm not entirely sure what I'm supposed to be doing or where I go from here. 

At this current moment; I'm sat up in bed with heart monitors across my chest, a nasal cannula providing extra oxygen support and I feel like I'm enduring a constant heart attack due to the severe pain within my heart and it is extremely hard to cope. 

"Frau Blaine" I heard a knock upon my hospital door "come in" I answered before seeing doctor Anker walk in "good morning Frau Blaine; how are you this morning" he asked walking towards the end of my bed, retrieving my clipboard "I'm not coping well if I'm honest" I sighed sadly.

"I understand all this might be a shock and at the moment, your heart is trying its hardest to overcome the sudden shock of what has happened" he explained giving me direct eye contact.

"I'm just a bit confused and I'm not sure where I go from here" I explained as I once again felt the sudden surge of constant pain throbbing within my heart "it's perfectly understandable to feel like this however, I have narrowed down your on-going treatment" he smiled soft at me "what is my treatment" I asked.

"We want to keep you in hospital for further observation however once we feel you are safe enough to return home; I have recommended a constant steroid injection that you must have in order to obtain your heart strength" he explained which only made my anxiety rise through me.

"And how long would I be taking this injection; what is it exactly" I asked "once you return home; the recommendation is a 2 hour steroid injection once a week" he exclaimed "unfortunately we do not have a time frame for the length of time you would be taking the injection since you would be required constant monitoring until we can justify your heart's percentage increase" he explained which only further plunged my anxiety.

"Is there any other treatment" I asked feeling slightly dizzy "unfortunately because your heart is under 70%; you are within the extreme risk category for death and it is vital we sustain strength rapidly to your heart in a short time" he sighed sadly "there is not a lot more we can do aside from this treatment I'm  afraid" he explained once again.

"Alright; I guess I don't really have a choice" I inhaled sharply "when can I return to Berlin" I asked "shortly, however we first want to make absolutely certain you are able to travel safely, if you put any further strain upon your heart, you are risking death" his eyes showered sympathy towards me.

"Thank you doctor Anker" I smiled warm at him wanting to end this conversation "I will let you know once you are safe to travel and allowed to be discharged" he confirmed as he walked towards the hospital door.

"Frau Blaine" he halted before he turned around to look at me "I want to apologise for your loss; I am deeply sorry" he once again smiled sympathetically at me which suddenly confused me.

"What are you talking about" I asked confusion clear within my voice "you were just over a month pregnant and unfortunately you have suffered a loss when you fell...I'm very sorry Frau Blaine" he sighed sadly before leaving my room quietly.

"I was pregnant" shock rose through my system; I've forever maintained the fact that I never wanted kids and it would never happen however since I have been with Till; that fact has shifted dramatically and I have been finding myself not minding children with Till. 

Fuck Till, how am I going tell him...we have never discussed about children but that doesn't mean it has never crossed his mind. 

I wasn't sure what I was truly feeling at this current point; I'm trying to overcome the sudden strain to my heart and now I have just been bestowed the news that I was pregnant and I didn't even acknowledge that fact. 

"Maisie, love" I heard Till before I saw him slowly walk into my hospital room "hi baby" I smiled soft at him as he sat next to my bed upon the chair.

"Have you heard him anything" he asked as he placed down his coffee and my orange juice upon the bed table "oh doctor Anker has recommended a continuous steroid injection for 2 hours once a week once I am safe to be discharged" I explained not giving eye contact "seems a bit much; is there no other treatment for you" Till asked curious.

"Erm..." I shook my head as the thought of being pregnant was still heavy upon my mind.

"Maisie...love" I felt Till's sudden warm hand upon my right one "oh, no; according to doctor Anker; I need to sustain strength to my heart rapidly because I'm within the extreme risk category for death" I turned my gaze towards Till "I will make sure you receive the best treatment there is Maisie" Till squeezed my hand tight.

"Something's wrong Maisie; what is it baby" Till asked softly concern clear within his voice "I...Till" I stumbled upon my words before I looked directly at Till as I felt tears threatening to fall.

"What is it my love; you're frightening me" Till's eyes filled with concern and anxiety over me.

"Will you just...hold...me...please" I stumbled once again upon my words before I began to feel tears "Maisie my love" Till stood up, removing the bed table and he sat upon my bed next to me.

"Till...I...was" I fumbled as I began to sob hard realising I couldn't tell him; nothing within me is allowing me to bestow this.

"Baby what is it; you can tell me my love" Till wrapped his arms so tight around me; comforting me and protecting me from any harm.

"I...can't" I sobbed hard feeling lumps upon lumps circulating within my throat "shhh everything is going to be ok Maisie" Till rested my head upon his chest before he wiped away my tears as I tried my best to maintain calmness. 

I generally couldn't tell him but I know he needs to know and I can't keep this a secret and have it buried within me for eternity...he deserves to know.