Ones Love Can Be So Strong Between Two People (A Rammstein Love Story)

Chapter 42- Revealing The Truth

(Maisie's POV)

Here I am tucked up within Till's arms glancing out to the snow falling upon the ground and crying my fucking heart out; at first I couldn't understand the arguing but when I listened carefully it became clear.

Richard exposed the secret that Paul told me in confidence and that was a very shitty move especially since Paul had never told anyone about that secret up until yesterday when he told me.

I respected Paul's wishes and buried that secret within me because I knew Paul wanted it to be kept a secret and he only told me so I wouldn't feel completely alone in aspect to the rape.

I'm angry at Richard for what he's done because despite everything in that argument...he should not have exposed that secret and I feel so bad for Paul; I'm angry at Reesh but I am on Paul's side.

Not only am I trying to process and heal about what happened yesterday but that argument just then has triggered memories from when I was a child and they are not pretty.

"Babygirl; are you alright" Till asked "I'm just so scared baby; I didn't need that argument baby" I started sobbing into Till's protective chest "I know baby and I want to take this pain away but I don't know how" Till sighed and held me tighter.

"Why would Richard expose that secret to us all when Paul clearly didn't want anyone knowing" I sighed and sat up to look at Till "I don't know my Love but I'm equally angry at him like you" Till sighed and stroked my head.

"Paul told me that secret in confidence and Richard just spat it out like it meant nothing to him but" I sighed "truth is; he only acted like that and started the argument because I know how much Richard loves him and he's just scared and confused because he never told him" I sighed wiping my eyes.

"But despite all of that; Richard is in the wrong and shouldn't have exposed that secret" I shook my head and kissed Till's cheek "I know babygirl; the truth with Richard is that he's harmless but things like rape will shatter his heart into a million pieces especially when they have happened to the people he loves the most" Till smiled a little.

"I'm gonna go and see if Paul is alright, baby" I smiled and stood up "are you sure you're ok Princess" Till asked holding onto my hand "I'm not ok Till and that's the truth because after yesterday; I'm still not processing it" I sighed "I love you Till Lindemann and I know I will be alright with you by my side" I smiled and pecked his lips.

"I will see you later baby" I smiled and started walking downstairs towards Paul's room; I want to make sure he's alright although I have never seen him attack Richard or anyone like that before.

It even scared me the way he started strangling Richard like that; I didn't think Paul was capable of something like that but Richard had really enraged his anger.

"Paul Love" I knocked upon his door before I slowly slid myself into his room and there I saw him rocking back and forth, tears streaming down his face like a water fall.

"Oh baby" I sighed and walked over to him and sat upon the bed cuddling him tight within my arms "I'm sorry Maisie; I should be here for you but..." Paul bursted into tears "let everything out Paulchen; I know he hurt you and he exposed something that shouldn't have been" I sighed.

"He had no right; I told you that secret for a reason; I don't have to tell him everything do I" Paul questioned in doubt "Paul you don't owe him any explanation to what happened and he had no right; I respected your wishes about that secret and buried it within me" I said.

"I know he hurt you but the truth is; he cares and loves you Paul and he only got angry because he's scared, scared of how you're feeling" I sighed "look I know he shouldn't have exposed that secret but Richard is harmless and he's just confused and scared; I'm not taking his side but I just don't think you should be as angry with him as you are right now" I sighed and he looked at me.

"To be honest; I don't want to talk about him" Paul sighed wiping his eyes "are you alright; you shouldn't be in this environment" Paul sighed concerned as he wrapped his arms around my waist "I'm alright Paulie but I do have triggered memories from when I was a kid" I sighed "what kind I mean you don't have to tell me; its totally up to you" Paul smiled.

"I actually really want to tell you but its a very dark life that I have experienced and I promised myself I would never tell anyone in the future" I sighed "like I said Maisie; you don't have to tell anyone and no one can force you to reveal aspects from your life" Paul smiled and kissed my head.

"What if I just told you vaguely about what happened" I asked with a smile "only if you're 100% comfortable and you feel ready to reveal" Paul gave me his sweet smile "its funny how I promised Reesh that he would be the first to know" I giggled a little but soon felt my smile fade when I knew I had mentioned Richard.

"I'm sorry Paulchen" I sighed "its alright; its not like he's nearly murdered me" Paul laughed slightly "according to what I witnessed; you almost murdered him; I've never seen that side to you before like you really went for him" I explained whilst resting my head upon his shoulder.

"That's what happens when you double cross me and betray me with secrets that I've hidden for so long" Paul sighed "you were going to tell Reesh about this dark life of yours" Paul asked curious.

"We got talking about the past and he mentioned that I hadn't revealed much other than my Dad but I wasn't ready to tell him so I promised him he would be the first to know" I started to feel tears descend upon my cheeks.

"Honestly once you hear everything; you'll realise why my health mentally isn't well" I said before wiping my eyes and faced Paul.

"If I tell you; you gotta promise not to expose it in arguments" I jokingly laughed "I swear I will not reveal anything in arguments" Paul laughed but then rolled his eyes; I inhaled sharply as I started to feel sickness at the fact that I was about to reveal to Paul the dark life I have lived.

"Basically between the ages of 3-7...I was abused physically and mentally by my own mother and she would beat me until she broke bones and this is why my Dad divorced her and took me away so I wouldn't suffer anymore" I sighed as I felt my tears return.

"Holy shitballs" Paul gasped in shock "you...you were abused by your own mother" he asked with shock erupting within his voice "in a truly horrifying way yes" I sighed nodding "god no wonder you always act so tough" Paul sighed "I'd rather not continue the conversation of it but that's vaguely what happened; I endured therapy up until I was a teenager and even now I'm still not completely healed" I sighed.

"I'm still frightened that one day she will find me and she'll abuse me so vigorously that she'll eventually kill me" I wiped away the tears that continued to descend upon my cheeks "come here Maisie" Paul pulled me into his arms and I laid my head upon his lap "I can't talk about it anymore because I'll give myself a bad panic attack" I inhaled sharply once again and looked up to Paul's sweet face.

"We'll go to sleep; I'm tired " Paul smiled I agreed by nodding and allowed Paul to lay upon his bed next to me and he pulled me close to his chest.

"You know if you ever ever need to talk to someone and it can't be Till or even Reesh because I know how close you two are then you can always come to me and I'll even make you laugh because I'm an idiot" I felt Paul's laugh vibrate through me.

"Thank you Paulie; you are a very cute idiot" I smiled and kissed his chest before I closed my eyes and I started listening to Paul's heart beat and it allowed me to fall asleep.