Before I start the car, I slam my head into the steering wheel. Noel's lament playing in the background. "I quit! I can't help Connor, if I don't even know how to help myself!" I slam my fist onto my thigh while laughing maniacally. Tears spill down my cheek, landing on my hand that I give all my attention to.
I just sit there in silence until I decide to start the car. I wipe away my tears and start driving.
***
I take my shoes off and put them to the side. And to my surprise, my mother is home. "Hey, mom. I thought you had class..?" Shit. What if she asks where I've been?
"Hi, Ev, I got home 2 hours ago." She smiles.
2 hours ago.
2 hours ago.
"Oh!" I smile awkwardly, hoping I could just walk away and she wouldn't even notice. "It's 11pm I think I should go to bed, night mom."
***
All my hope is pinned on Zoe all my hope is pinned on Zoe all my hope is pinned on Zoe all my hope is pinned on Zo- i jolt up and grab my phone, checking the time. Shit. Only 4am? That one part of the note just keeps replaying in my head, can it shut the fuck up?! All my hope is not pinned on Zoe. It's pinned on Connor. Connor Murphy, the freak, the school shooter, the emo, the depressed kid, the monster. If Connor dies, I don't know what to do with my life. He was like my only friend. Alana doesn't even call me a friend, she calls me an "acquaintance", Jared is just a family friend who's using me for car insurance, and Zoe- she's just a girl I used to like.
1 (not so bad) week later.
So, my mom has a boyfriend. Sorry, she has had a boyfriend for a very long time. And they're getting married. Supposedly, the guy has a stepson. His stepsons name is Jeremy. He's the same age as me (17), hes moving into my house tomorrow.
Luckily, I won't be here to see him, Connor just got out of the hospital and I'm gonna hang out with him for a while. "Hey, Evan!! Come down here, I have a surprise!!" I run down the stairs like a child on Christmas. I slow down to not trip down the stairs, until I see a figure. "Who's here?" I ask, he doesn't look familiar.
I take it in for a moment.
He's tall, maybe like 6 foot? He has brown hair, his eye color matches his hair. He's wearing a red sweatshirt and jeans.
That's not Connor.
"This is Jeremy. He's gonna be your new step-brother soon!" Mom grins at me, her eyes shining like the sun.
"Hi, Jeremy. Mom, isn't he moving tomorrow?" I ask, not trying to be rude (of course), but it's definitely not working.
"He's here to drop off his stuff," she continues talking, "Why don't you hang out? Talk to Jeremy, get to know him," and continues, "he'll need a friend when he officially moves here!" She smiles, ending her speech.
"Oh. I could hang out with him, I guess." I mumble.
***
"So, do you have any friends?" I ask. This whole conversation is plain awkward. I mean, it's literally forced. It's a forced conversation.
He takes a moment to answer. "Yeah.
"Who?"
"Errr-"
"EVANNNNN~~" I hear a voice call and immediately jump.
"Jared?" I stare directly at Jared, "what are you doing here?"
YOU ARE READING
Monster (a dear Evan Hansen fanfiction)
Romance"Dont get involved with Connor Murphy" they say, "he's a monster" they say, "he'll ruin your life!" Well, I don't believe that. I want to help him.
