Sorry Not Sorry

Seven

"Isabell, can't lie I feel bad for what I've done to you and I'm sorry for what I said but please try and be happy." The screen is so dark I can almost see my own reflection in it, why is he being so nice? Why has Aidan been worrying about everything that's happened to me.

I need to ask Aidan what's going on. Why is he suddenly caring about me, messaging me, asking me about my hand, and if I'm okay. He even said he's really happy that I hate Jack now. I don't want to sound like I'm full of myself; but there's a small chance he might like me. And part of me wishes he still does, even after all he's done to me.

I write on a note; Can I talk to you after school, I need to ask you something, unless you don't wanna do it, just text me.' I attach the note on a pen and tap him lightly on the shoulder. He turns around, looks at me, sees the note and takes it, no questions asked. It's something we're used to. Something we used to do when we were together.

I watch him open the note slowly, and notice a smile creep up on his face, automatically making me smile. Which I have to physically remind myself not to. His face turns to me.

"After school should be fine." he turns back around and grins a little more.

"Isabell!" Sylvia is mouthing unintelligible words.

"What?". She's annoyingly shit at communicating from a further distance then in your face. I have to slowly decode each word. Aidan... something about Aidan... and... who?... Olivia. What about them? Acted? Ate? What? Date, Dated, Dating...

Aidan is dating Oliva...

This changes a lot. Now it's obvious Aidan doesn't like me. I'm definitely not going to ask him if he likes me, that would just be embarrassing.

He loves Olivia, but she's so nice it almost pains me, yesterday was our first and only interaction. All I did wave and say hi, the smile on her face was beautiful, I can definitely understand why Aidan loves her.

I know I'm in no place to think about that. I did the same thing. But even worse. I know understand why Aidan told me to go kill myself. Maybe I am the problem.

I hate to admit, but all the memories of Aidan flood back into my head, when we watched the stars together, how innocent he was. When he got so excited to half hold my hand. When we weren't even dating, asking me for hugs because he missed me and still loved me.

I wish I held on to everything. All those moments. That I'll never have with anyone anymore.

Ever again. Except I was foolish, and selfish. I took that shit for granted. And now I would so anything to have them all back. If I had the chance, I'd swap life for it. I block the thoughts out my mind. He likes Olivia. Don't even think about liking him.

He wants you dead.