JJBA- The Speedwagon Foundation Archives

Agent's notes 1: Opening the Archives

(Transcript. Names have been censored for privacy purposes, as is SPW protocol. See "Cairo Incident, 1987, for further explanation")
Two people are seated at a table in the hidden archives of the Speedwagon Foundation. These archives contain information on every reported stand sighting since the foundation's establishment in the 1920s, alongside any prehistoric records of similar phenomena. These archives are hidden from the public, for the purposes of secrecy and safety, alongside the fact that there is the chance that the average Joe Schmoe might get coffee stains on some of the more important recordings. Seated at the table are Agent Paula S⬛⬛⬛⬛ and Agent Art G⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ of the SPW, whom appear to be arguing.

S⬛⬛⬛⬛: I don't care what you say, Art, it's ridiculous. Go through the entire archive?
G⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛: They've got a psychic to help us. Look, Paula...
S⬛⬛⬛⬛: Psychics aren't real. He's a scammer who makes money off dumb tourists who get bored from staring at mummies all day.
G⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛: He's a bonafide stand user, and since not every stand in this archive has a name attached, he's agreed to help us name them all! We were instructed to record ourselves reading out the file, with the witness at hand if possible, and he would figure out the stand's name and danger rating as needed. After the meteor....
(G⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ pauses, and takes a deep breath)
G⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛: We'll need all the help we can get to mitigate this, and to prevent the chances of another category 5 incident. I'm too young to remember '38 but goddammit, do you want that to happen again?
S⬛⬛⬛⬛: That wasn't a stand. And one of the witnesses was a goddamn nazi!
G⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛: It's still paranormal, so we document it. Anyway, the psychic should be here soon.

Transcriber's note: The Speedwagon Foundation uses a numbered categorising system to document the severity of registered stand user incidents or (rarer) ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ or ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛ sightings. For the sake of argument, a stand is classed as any apparition of sentient fighting energy/will to live taking a physical form of any kind. The number levels are as such:
0: Lowest concern. Monitor still, but can be easily contained.
1: Potential to do harm. Monitor, and have stand user subjected to mental and physical wellbeing check every 2 years.
2: Stand has caused harm or significant damage to person or property. Stand user to be monitored 24/7, and to take yearly mental and physical wellbeing check (See file marked "Cairo, 1987" for more info).
3: Stand has made itself known to general public, or resulted in mass death or destruction. Send out employed stand user (such as K⬛⬛⬛ J⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛- see file marked "Japan, 1997" for more info) to investigate and neutralise if needed.
4: Zombie outbreak or sighting. Neutralise immediately (see file marked "England, 1888" for further information).
5: Vampire sightings (See files on Cairo and England. All SPW agents to be equipped with UV lights, and call for a regional lockdown)
6: Stand has been struck with requiem arrow. Resettle stand user to safe house, call for national lockdown and proceed with great caution (See file marked "Naples, 2001" or statements by T⬛⬛⬛⬛ U⬛⬛ and P⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ F⬛⬛⬛" for further information)
7: Vampira Ultima sighting (See file marked "Mexico, 1938" or statement by J⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ J⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛. Engage international lockdown, alert UN, and equip militaries with UV lighting.
8: Vampire Ultima reaches ultimate lifeform status. Alert NASA
9: Stand User threatens world (See file marked "Florida, 2012"- thankfully said user did not achieve plan due to intervention by G⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ G⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛!)
10: World is destroyed. Plan of action: Cry.

(There is the sound of footsteps as the psychic enters. He is carrying what appears to be a 2010s iPod.)
S⬛⬛⬛⬛: This is the guy? M⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ A⬛⬛⬛⬛?
G⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛: Yes, he is.
A⬛⬛⬛⬛: I see you two require my help. I'm not surprised after that meteor, I kept hearing strange news reports about paranormal incidents and the like, so I assumed you'd call me up soon.
S⬛⬛⬛⬛: What's with the iPod?
A⬛⬛⬛⬛: I used to name stands with a deck of tarot cards. Since I've run out of cards to name stands, however, I've resorted to shuffling songs on this iPod to name them.
S⬛⬛⬛⬛: An iPod? Really?
A⬛⬛⬛⬛: I'd far prefer vinyl, but that's too cumbersome to carry with me, and Spotify has too many adverts. Anyway, this is much easier for me to use than a smartphone, as I'm not exactly a young man anymore. Shall we begin?

Warning: The following statements are highly classified, and document a variety of stand sightings. Continue at your own risk. Please note that all records are written down as they are given to us, complete with spelling/grammar mistakes and any inaccuracies. Reports will be amended by agents S⬛⬛⬛⬛ and G⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ as seen as fit.