Phantom Rider: The Aftermath | Book 1

I Feel Blue

Bill's POV

After we arrived by my house, Gustav asked: "Are you sure you want to be alone?" as always concerned.

"Yes, I am sure," I replied, closing the door behind me, not giving him a chance to continue brainwashing me.

And there it was again - sheer emptiness. I went to the bathroom, cleaned off my makeup, and took a cold shower. The icy water stung, but it was a temporary distraction. I stared into the mirror. There he was, looking back at me. Without all the masks and characters I played, I was just staring at my own bare face. It might as well have been Tom looking back at me. No one could tell the difference, not even me. It hurts seeing his reflection in my own eyes.

The need to numb myself took over once again. I couldn't bear to be alone with my thoughts. I needed drugs, alcohol, and someone next to me at all times. Otherwise, I would drown in my own mind.

But not Gustav or Georg. I was so fed up with them trying to fix me. They couldn't do it. Like seriously, they should get a new hobby. I wanted someone who didn't look at me like I was broken. I wanted someone who admired me, even if it was just for my outer persona.

So, I decided that this evening I wouldn't stay at home.

The club was the perfect hiding place, where no one cared who you were or what your intentions were as long as you were there and spending money.

The air smelled of sweat, smoke, and alcohol. The bass thumped like a hammer in my skull, the flashing lights turning the dance floor into a trippy circus of bodies. It was a full-on assault on the senses, and I was here for it.

Navigating through the sea of sweaty bodies, my mind was a jumbled mess. Every step felt like sinking deeper into filth. I made my way to the bar, where shots lined up, promising an escape for the night. But I knew better. This wasn't an escape -  it was self-inflicted torture.

Then I scanned the room. She caught my eye - a woman in a short black lace dress, dancing to the music. Drunk off my ass, I decided to make my move. No words were needed. She led me to a dim back room obviously knowing the drill. No chit-chat, just action. She knew her role, and I knew mine. I'd pay her afterward, or maybe not. Maybe her payment will be my mercy of not killing her after.

She laid out a line of coke, as I snorted it, she unbuttoned my pants. I pushed her to her knees, enjoying the high while she sucked my dick. It was a temporary pleasure, doing nothing to quiet the storm inside my mind. Unable to finish, I left her in the shadows, stumbling back to the bar, snorting another line before I left.

The night blurred with lights and sounds. Strobe lights flashed, distorting faces into monstrous shapes. The madness inside me grew with each sip. I wanted to tear the place apart and kill everyone. Kept drinking until I could barely stand, scaring off anyone who thought about chatting me up.

When the music started sounding like nails on a chalkboard, I stumbled towards the exit. Moment I pushed through the door, I collided with another woman entering the club. 

"Bitch, watch where you're going!" I mumbled at her already holding my hand on the gun, ready to shoot her brains out. Then I looked at her, and blue eyes widened in shock stared back at me. Her presence snapped me back to reality.

Before I could speak, Georg appeared out of nowhere, gripping my arm to steady me practically dragging me to the car. I glanced back at those eyes one last time. Georg struggled to push me into the car, I sort of enjoyed making him struggle like that. I felt strange butterflies in my stomach, or I thought I did, until suddenly, I couldn't hold it in and vomited all over Georg's car backseats.

"Fuck, Bill! You will clean it yourself. " Georg screamed in my face in disgust, rightfully so, but I couldn't do anything but pass out just to regain consciousness moments later.

"Take me back!" I crawled myself to the front seat of the car, realising half way it's harder than I thought it will be. I tried to grab the wheel while Georg was driving.

"No way. You're going home before you become headline news," Georg said firmly, pushing me away.

But he knew damn well I never listened. Did what I wanted, especially when I got an idea stuck in my head. As we drove off, I waited for him to leave. Quick cold shower helped sober me up faster than expected.

I Changed clothes and jumped back in my car, heading right back to the club. I Had to see her again.