HANNI & HER WAYS || Bbangsaz

Jungwon & Haerin part2

I felt pretty awkward sitting there. Obviously this is something personal about Haerin, and it feels like we're pressuring her on telling us her deepest and darkest secrets. I glanced at everyone around the table and I could tell that they all felt the same.

"You really don't have to tell us, if you're uncomfortable talking about it." I finally said out loud.

"Yeah." Danielle added.

"I mean, everyone is already here, so why the heck not." Haerin said nervously. She took a deep breath, folded her trembling hands in front of her and said, "I'm a drug addict."

Everyone was silent.

"I used to be really angry too, and growing up as Jungwon's older sister wasn't really great for him."

I could tell that Haerin was trying really hard to keep herself together.

"I've used heroin, sniffed cocaine, pot, ecstasy- You name it, I've probably done it." Haerin continued and had time to chuckle. "I uh, my parents weren't really around either because they were busy running this place. They were going through some things too because they both turned to drug addicts and they eventually passed away... Jungwon, he saw them in the tub with needles in their arm-"

Danielle immediately placed an arm around her shoulders and tried to comfort her.

"Uh, I wasn't really around when our parents died either. In my head I thought, they didn't care about me, so why should I care about them? My main regret was forgetting that I have a little brother. I'm five years sober now, and I'm trying to get my life back, I'm trying to reconnect with my family- I'm just trying to be a better person now, because I knew I wasn't back then."

Again, everyone was silent. Haerin's voice trembled a little when she spoke, but she took a deep breath again.

"I understand if Jungwon doesn't want to talk to me, but guys- Don't blame him for how he reacted today. Blame me."

"We're not doing that." Hyein said. "No one is going to blame anyone. You're pretty amazing for going through what you've been through. I apologize for being a bitch towards Jungwon earlier..."

"He can be a bit narcissistic huh?" Haerin said. "I think it's his coping mechanism. He wants to be perfect in front of everyone's eyes because his childhood was so fucked up- Uh, well that's what my councilor said anyways. I'm just trying to connect with him again. I want to be an older sister that he could rely on. I understand that it's probably takes time, so he hates me right now and that's totally okay."

"Haerin..." I started. I wanted to say something. I can't bear the broken look in her face. She's smiling, but it didn't reach her eyes. We're all seeing this other side of Haerin, and I know that all of us have nothing but respect towards her.

With a big sigh, and a quick rub in her eyes, she quickly snatched Jake' santa hat and dumped the names on the table and grabbed Jungwon's name. She put everything back in the hat and took another name. Haerin grinned and passed the hat to me.

"I'm trying to surround myself with good people. I hung out with the wrong crowd, and I'm not going to let that happen anymore." Haerin smiled, and put the paper away. "Please don't treat me differently. I hope you guys don't mind me grabbing my own brother's name. I'm assuming he's not playing anymore. But to keep the game going, I grabbed another one. Hope it's okay..."

"Of course." Dani said, and everyone nodded.

I didn't know what to say, and it's starting to get quiet again so I quickly pulled out a name in the hat. I peeked at it, and contained my grin.

I got Minji.

"Alright, you go next Dani."

Everyone got a name out of the hat and Jake cleared his throat.
Okay! So the plan was you get until next Friday to give your person a gift. Since that Friday is the last day of school before winter break, I was thinking that we should meet at Hanni's house after school to open the presents." Jake announced. I frowned, and looked at him.