Broken I

47

ARNA 

Sollaamal kollaamal
Nenjodu kadhal sera
Nenjodu kaadhal sera
Moochu mutthudhae

I sang softly as I watched Hridhan, who was pretending to sleep. Gently, I caressed his hair and played with his beard, feeling the familiar texture beneath my fingertips.

"Hridhan, thoonguringala ?" I whispered, moving my face closer to his.

"Ama, baby," he replied, his eyes still closed.

I chuckled at his dedication to answering my question even in his pretend sleep. I giggled more as I playfully pinched his cheeks and kissed the place strongly.

He finally opened his eyes and blinked at me. My fingers traced a delicate path from his eyes to his nose, his eyelids fluttering shut as I grazed his beard and the tip of his lips.

My gaze remained fixed on him, the air around us thickening with unspoken words and rising temperature.

"Hridhan," I breathed, my voice barely audible.

Our faces were inches apart, my nose brushing against his. His hands rested on my bare waist, the warmth of his touch sending shivers down my spine. The sound of the fan was the only noise in the background, a soft hum in the otherwise silent room.

The cold weather outside contrasted sharply with the heat building between us as his fingers tightened their grip on my waist.

The tension was palpable, our breaths mingling in the small space between us. I could feel his heartbeat matching the rhythm of mine, a steady, insistent pulse that drew us closer. 

My thumb grazed his lower lip, sending a shiver through both of us.

"Arna, I think you should stop," he whispered, his voice barely audible, laced with a mixture of desire and restraint.

I inched closer, our lips almost touching. His hands on my waist seemed to ignite something within me, making me feel sensations I couldn't quite explain.

"Yen, Hridhan ? Control illaya ?" I teased, my hands sliding down his neck, the warmth of his skin under my fingertips causing my heartbeat to quicken. I didn't know why I was doing all this, but it felt right.

"Maybe not," he breathed.

"Maybe," I countered, a playful smile on my lips as my gaze locked with his.

The air between us crackled with unspoken desire. His fingers tightened their grip on my waist, pulling me closer until our bodies were flush against each other. The electricity of the moment was overwhelming, every nerve in my body on high alert.

A sudden crack of thunder startled me, and I instinctively closed my eyes, hiding my face in Hridhan's shoulder.

The rain began to pour outside, its rhythmic patter gradually drowning out the sound of the fan, which had slowly wound down to a stop. Hridhan's hand moved gently up and down my back, a comforting gesture that helped to steady my racing heart.

"Current poiduchu," he said softly, his eyes drifting to the now stationary fan above us.

I looked up, confirming his words. The room was plunged into darkness, save for the occasional flash of lightning that illuminated his face. The storm outside intensified, creating a symphony of rain and thunder.

We stayed silent, the only sounds being the rain and thunder outside. My hands, however, were restless, gently playing with his beard.

"Enna thidirunu ?" he asked, pulling me closer until my chest was pressed against his.

"Chumma than," I lied, my curiosity getting the better of me. We met a baby girl today and she played with his beard.

I was seriously wondering how the baby felt playing with his neatly trimmed beard. It was soft yet rugged, a comforting texture under my fingers.

"Ennaku una pathi nala theriyum baby" he answered with a chuckle, my fingers still tangled in the softness.

"Nalathu" I said, as he tilted his head slightly, giving me better access. 

"Good night," I said, turning to the other side, trying to calm my racing heart. But Hridhan wasn't ready to let go. His hands pulled me closer, his breath warm against my neck and ears.

"Kovama ?" he asked softly, his lips brushing my neck. I opened my mouth to respond, but no words came out. My breath caught as his fingers moved lightly around my waist, sending shivers through my body.

Oh shit. I started this, and now I'm doomed.

Another flash of lightning illuminated the room, and the storm outside seemed to mirror the intensity inside. The heat between us was almost tangible, making the cold, rainy night feel strangely warm.

"Nee vera pattu try pannirukanu, baby," he whispered, pulling me even closer until my back was pressed against his front. His voice was low and husky, and I could feel something rising in me.

My heart pounded in my chest as his fingers traced on my skin. The tension between us had reached its peak, and every touch, every breath was electrifying.

As I turned to him, the realization hit me that even though I had initiated this moment, I couldn't go through with it. His touch, while comforting, also made me acutely aware of my vulnerability. My mind began to race, travelling back.

I tried to look into Hridhan's eyes, but I couldn't meet his gaze. I began to shiver. I started to pull away, but Hridhan held me gently, his grip firm yet tender.

"Relax, baby," he said softly, pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead.

I gulped, struggling to find the right words. The tenderness in his voice and his understanding touch made it clear that he wasn't rushing me, that he respected my boundaries. It was a relief, but I still felt the weight of my emotions pressing down on me.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice barely audible.

Maybe my ex husband was right I couldn't do this anymore. 

"Maggie sapdalama ?" he asked.

"Han ?" I looked up, a bit surprised.

"Lite aa pasikuthu. Maggie ?" he suggested with a smile, his eyes gazing mine.

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Hridhan has my 🫶🏻

Avalothan. Dot.