Rochdale | LGBTQ+

.Seventeen.

Penny was waiting up for me when I finally got home at eleven o'clock that night. There were bags under eyes, and I could tell she was upset when I walked through the door. I slid off my coat and hung it on the hook, avoiding her searching gaze.

"Cory..." she started.

I sighed and slowly turned around.

"Oh my god. Look at you. Your hair is a mess, your shirt is stained in the corner, and your belt is lopsided. What have you been doing every night?" she demanded. "It's been three days, and every night you come looking like you've been through a car wash. You keep running away to work leaving either me or Maddie to take care of the girls, and you haven't even been here to say goodnight to them or put them to bed. They haven't seen you in three days, CC. It's non stop, when is Cory gonna be home, when is Cory done with work?" Penny threw up her hands. "I can't keep making up excuses! They know when the store closes, and they know when Maddie is here."

I swallowed. "It's not that big of a deal, Pen."

Penny sniffed. "Oh my god. You've been drinking, haven't you? Where did you get alcohol? Greg?!"

I shook my head helplessly. I'd been sleeping with Ned every night for the past few nights. I had earned six hundred dollars, and  had already paid this month's bills without Penny knowing. I'd gotten the groceries and had even gotten the girls new shoes for school. I was going to gift wrap them and surprise them with them next Monday before Libby left for her first day of preschool. "Pen, seriously, I'm fine. I can take care of myself," I told her.

"Really?! Really?! I know you can, but the girls need you here! You can't just be a deadbeat like Greg or-or-or a walk out like Mom- you need to be here to help raise them with me, or they'll make shitty decisions. Like you're doing right now."

I winced. "I'm just trying to help..."

"You're trying to help yourself," Penny snapped. She sighed. "Look, Maddie told me."

My jaw went slack. "W-What?"

"I know you're gay, I know you slept with Sampson. It's fine. But I also know that you're doing this shit to help yourself forget about him marrying that blonde bitch." Her gaze softened. "CC I know it hurts when someone you love wants someone else but-"

"I don't love him!" I cried, stomping my foot. "I don't! I- I fucking hate him!" I turned away. "I don't love Lucas. I just slept with him, okay? It meant nothing to him, means nothing to me."

"Don't try and deny your feelings for him, that won't help you move on. It'll just make you angry," Penny said sternly. I scoffed. "I mean it Cory. You need to accept that you have feelings for that boy, and then forget about them in a healthy way. Therapy, meditation like Chester does, or some shit like that. Not drinking and coming home in the middle of the night like Greg always does."

"Do not compare me to Greg," I snarled coldly. 

Penny narrowed her eyes at me. "Then fucking act like a man. Be the father figure those girls need. You're their older brother, their only brother. And if you end up like Greg, or if you walk out like she did, I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do." She looked up at me, eyes brimming with tears. "I'm serious CC. I don't know what I'd do without you."

The guilt was stinging the inside of my chest. It didn't help that I could still feel Ned's dick in the back of my throat and could still taste it on my tongue. I needed to brush my teeth. 

"Penny, I'm not trying to be a deadbeat. I just-" I broke off. I had no good excuse. Penny was right. This was because of Lucas. I needed to forget about him in a healthy way. I could go to meditation with Greg and Chester but I sucked at sitting still. I could go to therapy, but hated talking about my feelings to a total stranger who really only pretended to care for the money you had to give them. 

Penny drummed her fingers on the table. "Have you eaten today?" 

I shook my head. "The girls need the food more than I do-"

"Cory Barker sit your ass down right now. I'll make you some eggs and bacon."

"Pen, it's almost midnight. I can eat tomorrow morning. There are barely any eggs left in the fridge anyways-"

"We have two whole cartons. That'll last us a while. I'll only use three for your scrambled eggs, and then I'll make a pack of bacon and heat up the leftovers for tomorrow. Deal?"

I nodded stiffly. 

"Good. I know you can do it CC. You'll get over him before you know it."