I sat with a pen in my hands as the pages of my diary flapped while the words of my father repeated in my head, making my head a mess of thoughts.
It's devastating when you have a lot of in your mind but you still can't pen down your feelings.
I sigh, the stray drop of tear that was threatening to fall finally slipped down the side of my cheek. I held the pen by my fingers, I need to let my emotions out by writing everything in my diary,
I got to know that the guy I'm getting forced to marry, Kim Jun, studies in the same school as me. It's sickening to know that because except for school, there's no other place where I actually feel comfortable. It's not as loud as my house.
The reason my father wants me to marry him is that he belongs from a rich family, rich enough to get me everything my father couldn't get.
But my father doesn't know love is all that I want. Only if he knew I don't desire for branded clothes or a fancy car, only if he knew that all I've ever wanted is him to call me lovingly.
I can get everything I want by myself, father. Just love me enough for me to call you dad, not father.
It'll be extra nice of me to think about this but is Kim Jun also being forced to marry me? He's the same age as me, he must want to live wildly too.
-
I was walking around the school hallways with my head hung low, thinking about everything I could when suddenly I bumped into someone.
That person immediately wrapped thier arms around my shoulders as I almost stumbled backwards and fell"Sorry--" I shut my mouth when my eyes met the person who I bumped into. I took a step away, it was Riki.
He looked like he wanted to say something but I left before he could even open his mouth.
In the past few days, I always saw him looking at me and waiting for me at the bus stop even when he doesn't need to take the bus.
And I'd be clearly lying if I say his efforts to talk to me again didn't bring butterflies in my stomach. I felt a lot of butterflies but I'm trying to kill each one of them, though it's hard.
Sometimes I even feel so amused. I couldn't stop liking him for 4 years but now the whole scenario has changed in just 4 days.
But I miss him. I'm not even mad anymore, I'm only taking everything as an excuse to move on from him.
-
"Class C, silence. Today we'll be combining our English class with class B as their homeroom teacher's absent. Please, no noise!" Mr. Yoon spoke up as the whole class started to cheer, some happy because they have friends in the other class while some sad because they'll have to share their classroom with another class.
But, what was I? Sad or happy? Obviously both because class B coming over means Riki and Yena both coming over.
Where were these combining arrangements when I wanted them to happen? Why now? when I'm trying to avoid my crush from the other class?
I lifted up my head when I heard loud whispers of students and saw Class B entering, even Riki and Yena.
I quickly looked away when I saw the tall japanese boy looking at me intensely. Damn, Riki, don't make things even harder for me.
"Class B and Class C, silence! Just sit wherever you want, don't be so loud!"
My eyes widened not because Riki came and took a seat next to me but because I saw Kim Jun standing just behind Riki. He's in class B?
Kim Jun passed me a smile, rather a creepy one before he sat somewhere else.
"What happened?" I ignored Riki's soft voice and continued to scribble stupid things in my notepad as an attempt to forget about my crush's existence.
I know he'd go away if I tell him to but I didn't want to. I want him to stay but on the other hand, I also want to move on. I know I'm going crazy.
The class started as I began to focus but the guy beside me, my infamous japanese crush, Nishimura Riki looked so distracted. He kept on glancing down on the bench.
On the bench?... Shit!
I quickly looked over to his side and saw him peeking into my diary that was in front of him. I pulled it back harshly as he turned his head to me, making me glare at him.
This boy's always poking his nose into other's business. I hate his guts sometimes, laterally a kid.
The class ended sooner than I expected as I released a sigh of relief. I waited for the class to empty so I could also leave.
Next period's free, that means I'll be spending my time in the library.Riki stood up and I also stood up but he suddenly blocked my way. "Miso..." He called out as softly as he could, making my heart melt.
I ignored him again but he quickly grabbed my wrist to stop me, "Miso, I--"
He stopped in his sentence as I jerked his hands away and continued to walk.Okay, now I'm feeling guilty for hurting him like that. I'm sorry, Riki but what I'm doing is better for both of us.
I ignored the footsteps that followed me from behind as I walked towards the library. Either it's him or someone else.
While I was searching for a good book to read, I was turned behind by someone as they gripped my shoulders.
This boi--
It's not him, it's not Riki. It's that Kim Jun.
I immediately slapped his hands off me angrily, "What the heck? I told you to not touch me!"
"You look so pretty today." he smiled at me, "I was so happy to find out that I'll be attending the English lecture with your class. I got to see you, love."
_________________________________________
I'm sleepy but I need to complete this story before going back to school :'(
Again, too tired to edit anything :)
Struggling together!
Thank you <3
Yours,
Smiley :)Published : 1st July 2024
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Falling For You Instead | Nishimura Riki
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