If We Burn (The Hunger Games x Reader)

Chapter 5

Chaos ensued in Haymitch's living room as the full weight of the President's words sunk in. Haymitch threw his glass at the screen, Katniss's mother screamed in disbelief, a single tear fell from Katniss's eyes and Peeta starred in open-mouthed shock at the shattered screen. Prim cried quietly and Gale just remained silent. You watched as Katniss ran out of the room and heard the front door slam, you ran after her.

She ran towards the woods, but stopped and collapsed against a tree before she reached the fence. You knelt beside her, her tears came in streams now as she tried to calm her beating heart.

"This is our punishment," she whispered, "we didn't convince him, now he has to make a statement."

You nodded silently, you knew she was right. She defied the capitol, couldn't calm the districts and now this was the final play by President Snow. This was his way of ending the rebellion before it started, this was his way of eliminating a threat before it could become something worse.

"Peeta," she whispered, "I have to save Peeta."

"What about you?" you asked, "it might not be Peeta, but it will be you."

She shook her head, "it doesn't matter, Peeta is innocent, he doesn't deserve to go back there."

"Katniss-"

She held up her hand and started walking back to Victor's Square. You followed her as far as the archway, but let her continue on by herself. She walked back into Haymitch's house. Several hours have gone by, he would be the only one there by now. You couldn't bring yourself to face Katniss's family, so you went to the only other place you could - Peeta's house.

You knocked on the door, but it was already open. "Come in," you heard, his voice coarse. You walked in, knowing the layout of the house as it was the same as Katniss's. Peeta was sitting at the kitchen table, a brown bottle in his hand. He offered it to you, "I don't usually drink, but I thought tonight was as good a time as any."

You nodded and took a swig from the bottle, it wasn't as strong as the glass you had with Haymitch, but it still burned your throat. You handed it back to him, "is Katniss okay?" he asked, "I saw you run after her."

You shook your head, "going back into that arena is going to destroy her, she still can't come to terms with what she had to do last time."

"I know," he replied, "she has nightmares a lot." When you looked at him in confusion he added, "on the tour, I could hear her screams."

"I can't imagine it," you said, "the pain, the guilt, it strips away who you are as a person."

Peeta eyed you seriously, he could see the true understanding in your eyes, "have you-"

"No," you said, knowing his question, "animals though, yes. And it is bad enough then, people are different, I can't imagine that weight. Gale says hunting is to survive, that I shouldn't feel it, but I feel every one. I know I killed it to survive, but to end a life - it still fills me with guilt," you explain.

"I never actually killed in the arena," he confided, "not directly. It helped me hold on to a piece of myself. I don't know if I'll get that lucky again."

"How sure are you it will be you in the arena," you asked, "there is still Haymitch."

Peeta shook his head, "I can't let her go in there alone," he explained, "I couldn't watch her die and not be able to do anything about it."

"You love her," you said. It wasn't really a question, you knew it was the truth, even if it was something he hadn't truly admitted to himself yet.

He didn't answer your question, "she gave up everything for me, saved my life in the games. I have to do this for her, I can't help her as a mentor, but I could help her if I was at her side."

"What about the other two tributes that will be with you?" you asked, "who will help them?"

Peeta shrugged, "I can try to help them, but they will probably be just as helpless as I was last year, we can't save them all."

You nodded, it was the harsh truth, but you still hadn't expected it from Peeta. He was usually the love conquered all type, maybe the games changed him more than he thought. But he was right, if it really will be Katniss and Peeta together in the arena again, their only hope would be to watch out for each other and abandon the other tributes.

—----------------------------------------------------

You left Peeta's house and wandered around town, still unable to go into Katniss's home. It just felt wrong, knowing she was going back to the arena, living in her wealth that she might never see again. The town was dark and no one was walking around except for the occasional peacekeeper that didn't even look twice in your direction.

"Hey (Y/N), can't sleep?" a gruff voice came from the dark. Gale materialized from a dark alley and fell into step with you as you wandered towards the square where the reaping would take place tomorrow.

"Not really," you replied, "and even if I could, I have nowhere to go."

Gale nodded, understanding without you having to explain it. "I tried to talk to her," he whispered, "I stood in the doorway, but couldn't bring myself to go in. I wanted to tell her I love her, that I would still be rooting for her to come home, but it just felt wrong."

You stopped walking when you were in the center of the town square, "I don't know if we'll get her back a second time," you said, "this is where I stood last year when she volunteered for Prim, I hoped and prayed she would win, but I never let myself believe she would."

Gale squeezed your hand, "I did the same, I just never wanted to talk about it."

You rested your head on his shoulder, letting his earthy scent envelope you. It was familiar, calming, comforting. "At least we'll still be here," he whispered, "to take care of Prim for her."

You both had already allowed for the thought of Katniss to die, you didn't want it, but it would be how she wanted it. She would want you to prepare for her death so you could comfort her family, protect them, shield them from it. Then you remembered another piece of the puzzle, "the other tributes, there will be 48 of them now."

Gale nodded, "we can only hope it is someone we don't know, it will make it easier."

You didn't like the thought of hoping others would die, but that was the world you live in, that was the world the capitol created for you. You shivered, not from the cold, but the thought of watching more death, watching your friends be a part of that again. Gale wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you tighter to him, letting his body heat seep into you. It wasn't the warmth you needed, it was the embrace. Gale was always there when you needed him, he was part of what held you together when Katniss was reaped and your parents died, he and Prim were the only family you really had for a while. Perhaps in another life you and Gale would marry, not for love - he would always love Katniss - but for the familiarity of it all, so neither of you were ever truly alone.

You stood in the square for a bit before Gale guided your shoulders towards the woods, "come on, we can watch the sunrise over the lake."

You looked to the sky, you had lost track of time and had no idea the sunrise would be so soon. "I can't," you said, turning back to Victor's Village, "I have to find Katniss."

Gale nodded in understanding and let you go, "see you at the reaping," he said as he turned towards the woods to watch the sunrise alone.