Roommates (Maxley)

Chapter 11

"You're awake," Max whispers while brushing brown strands out of his eyes. He watches his eyelashes flutter, "Need anything?"

Brad shoots up in bed, wincing when a cramp soars from his rear to his back. What time is it? What day? His head throbs with every thought. How much did he have to drink? He runs his hands through his hair, pausing when he sees his exposed arms. Max drapes the blanket around him the moment he sees the panic in his eyes, pecking his forehead and massaging his shoulders until his breaths are even again. God, how embarrassing, he got so drunk he let himself get bare. Max probably thought he was easy, hell, he was easy. He curls up into a ball in Max's lap, burying his face in his chest to hold onto the only warmth that keeps his blood from running cold. Why does he feel this way with Max? A question with an obvious answer, he's just too afraid to accept it.

"Bath." He mumbles, arms tightening around Max. Confusion, his morals are a mess of wants and needs that are separate yet intertwined. "Please."

Warm water laps at his skin as a wet cloth circles it, his head laid against Max's chest as he stares up at the showerhead. Silent, neither of them say a word, there's nothing to say. Brad couldn't express himself if he tried, he's not even sure what he's feeling honestly. What he does know is that it feels...good. A numbing kind of good, like when you fall asleep after a long day. When their eyes meet his thoughts pause, and they disappear when their lips connect. He pulls away first, eyes squeezed closed because he can't face him. Why? Why can't he look at him? He had sex with him, for fuck's sake, just look Brad!

Coward, he's so fucking pathetic.

"Let it out, Pretty boy, it's alright." Max coos, cupping his face and wiping his tears away with a soft sponge. "I've got you."

"Why?" A quiet question, Brad's head hung so he could hide. All he's ever done is hide, how humiliating.

"I told you yesterday," His laugh is soothing despite the loudness of it. He tilts Brad's head back up, kissing the tip of his nose and smiling when he shudders. "Because I love you. It's as simple as that really."

"Doesn't feel simple." Brad grumbles, cheeks warming as Max holds him close. His mouth moves without permission, spilling what he planned to keep secret. "Everything feels complicated."

"Yeah, I get that." Max says with a small sigh, kissing Brad's shoulders. "It gets better, I promise."

"When?" He's been waiting for it to get better for so long, his patience wearing thin the more time passed. "I want it to be better now."

"Does it feel better when you talk about it?" Max cautiously holds his hand, intertwining their fingers until they're crocheted together. "I want to help...if you'll let me. I mean, not that you have to, but I'd like to be the one who...uh..."

What is he even trying to ask? He knows Brad isn't ready for that, he panicked this morning just from waking up next to him. Come on Max, don't rush him. The silence between them is thick, underlying tension poking and prodding but neither of them give in. Max rinses the suds off Brad before gently drying him off, smiling every time his body flushes in response. He knows he doesn't like having his arms out so he grabs one of his hoodies to pull over him, the fabric drowning his figure. Brad sits in his lap on the bed, albeit bashfully, turned around with crossed arms and a forced frown. He's fine staying like this, the two of them in their shorts on the bed and reading together. He just...feels like he shouldn't be fine. It doesn't help that his eyes keep darting up to Max's face, admiring those shiny piercings and bright brown and white skin. He's...pretty. The realization makes Brad's face burn and when Max notices he jerks it away, hiding behind his hands.

"What's wrong? You're all red-"

"Shut it, I'm not." Denial, he's used to it by now. He's starting to feel guilty from it honestly, like he's dragging Max along his loopy road. "...Fine. Maybe I am. But it's not because of you! It's just really hot in this hoodie!"