Beneath

18 CLIMAX IN A CHANGING ROOM

C A M I L A

There's a distinct difference between liking thrift stores and needing thrift stores. I've been on both sides. Kits Thrifts smells like a mix of old books and bed bugs. It's cozy in a way. A little musty, though. The Halloween section is exploding in a mess of orange and black. Maddie's on a tangent about... I'm not listening, actually.

I flip through a rack of clothes that have seen better decades. My fingers trail over denim, pausing on a blue pair of jeans with rainbow stripes down the sides. I haven't worn jeans in years. I tug them out, the fabric well-worn beneath my fingertips. They're vintage bellbottoms.

"You should try those on," Maddie says. "Very retro."

I hang the jeans back up, ignoring her.

My mind is occupied. Fire Base. Motherfucking Dylan. That slimy, slimy grin. Maddie's bullshit. What the hell am I supposed to do? I'm stuck. Everything's stuck.

"Cam? Can you please at least look at me?" Maddie's holding up a sparkly purple dress that looks like it belongs on a 70s dance floor. "This is perfect for the Halloween party. Paige will love it."

Fuck, Paige is coming? Does that mean the other triplets are too? Adam better not show up or I'll be making an appearance as a baseball player with his head at the goddamn ball.

We drift toward the sunglasses and purses. I pick up a pair of bright flower-shaped sunglasses. Slipping them on, I catch our reflection in a nearby mirror—Maddie, all bright and hopeful, and me, hidden behind a pair of shades.

I like them. They're only 49¢.

Maddie grabs a big white purse, slinging it over her shoulder with a flourish. "What about this?"

I push the glasses up on my head. "You look like your name is Kristen and you're on your way to pick up the kids from soccer practice after having an affair with the neighbour."

Maddie blinks—then laughs big and loud, pulling a few older lady's eyes. They smile at her.

"Let's go find the boys. They're by the Halloween stuff," Maddie says.

Noah, Fox and Jed are here. Emphasis on that first name. I've been hardcore missing him. There's been so little time between classes and work.

I linger by a rack of tees and just watch the trio for a little while.

Fox is trying on a cowboy hat, pointing finger guns at his reflection in a foggy mirror. Jed's found refuge on a nearby bench, buried in a book titled The Last Blue Planet, his concentration shielded by bright pink earmuffs. Then there's Noah, arms crossed, head tilted back against the wall, completely over it. He dressed simply today, in a white t-shirt and faded jeans. His dark hair is a bit longer than it was when I met him almost a month ago, falling over his brow.

My smile is a little dazed, and I'm not even in control of it. I like being in the same space as Noah. I want to be around him in any way he'll let me.

Maddie snags a flannel off the hanger, holding it up against her. "Too lumberjack?"

My eyes just slide back to Noah. He's now reluctantly wearing a hat Fox shoved onto his head, a look of resignation on his face. It's a pirate hat, large and ridiculous with a feather. Noah catches me looking, a half-smirk quirking his lips.

Fox is now making exaggerated pirate gestures, swinging an imaginary sword around, tapping Noah's face when he remains unmoving, provoking him.

Maddie whispers, "They're such dorks."

Noah eventually rips the pirate hat off his head and throws it at Fox's face.

Maddie leaves our cart and heads over to the boys, snatching the cowboy hat from Fox's head to place it atop her own, her smile wide. Fox sweeps her into his arms and dips her low with a kiss straight from an old Hollywood. Her leg pops up, one hand flying up to keep the hat in place.