Beneath

30 THE GRAND REALIZATION

NOAH

Here, where the cold bites at my cheeks, the day of the week is irrelevant. Things have changed inside me. Call it a rewiring. Call it an echo. Call it a girl. There's always a hangover after Fall Reading Week at GoldwenU. We all feel it. My hangover just happens to be much, much more potent. A Camila Delgado Hangover.

My girlfriend is busy. God, I miss her.

I've never been drawn to someone so fiercely. It's unsettling, this attraction that's filled a hole inside me. So even as I close my eyes, exhale, and tilt my chin to the snow-burdened clouds, I'm warm. Warmed by a memory, or two, or three.

"Noah?"

My hackles raise as I turn around.

Maddie.

She's across the courtyard, her blonde hair a bright spot against the drab November backdrop, and she looks...off. Twitchy. Tired, maybe, or stressed. But there's something about the way she's running to me that makes my stomach twist.

With a puff of air, she halts before me.

We stand there in awkward silence for a moment, the wind whipping around us, and I'm not sure what to say.

"Where's Cam?" she asks.

"Work." My eyes twitch. "You don't know where she is?"

"Work? She said she'd be with you."

I'm not sure why she's lying to Maddie, but whatever the reason, I trust my girl.

She looks back at me. "You and Cam. You're spending a lot of time together, huh?"

"She's my girlfriend. You should mind your business."

Her smile falters. "Maybe you should. She's my friend, you know. Mine. And everything got all weird when you showed up." She jabs a finger into my chest through my coat. "You."

I take a step closer, closing the distance between us. "Let me be clear," I say, my voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. "Whatever you think you know about me and Cam, you don't get to. You're a bad friend. You're a bad girlfriend. So back the fuck off."

Tears start streaming down her face, and before I can even process what's happening, she's bawling. Loud, gut-wrenching sobs that echo off the stone walls around us. Her hands come up to cover her face, but it does nothing to muffle the sound.

I look around, clearing my throat. "Stop. Stop that."

"I'm such a mess, Noah!" she wails, her voice cracking. "I've ruined everything. I'm a failure at...at everything. School, friends, Fox, Cam...everything! I'm so tired of being a disappointment."

I'm just waiting to leave.

She looks up at me, her eyes red and puffy, her face streaked with tears. "Do you think Cam hates me? Like really hates me?"

"She doesn't hate you," I say.

Maddie nods, her eyes welling up with tears again. "I would. God, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She shakes her head and then walks off, still crying.

My breath fogs up in the cold as I sigh, running a hand through my hair.

Maybe Camila can forgive her after everything. I'm sure I could too.

But I won't.

.....

Hood flipped up, I slump into my usual spot at the back of the old classroom. Out comes the arsenal: a notebook, a red pen, and a black pen. Dr. Jones, a beacon of knowledge in a tweed jacket and fedora, makes his way to the front, scratching the dark skin of his jaw.